A Modest Idea to Enforce the Wearing Of Face Masks.

 

So I was at the Provo Rec Center this morning, and I counted, in just five minutes, ten people blithely strolling about without a face mask.

Let's face it; there are scofflaws everywhere, when it comes to the various mask mandates in place in each state. Governors have threatened fines and everything short of the torture chamber to get people to wear masks, but tens of thousands continue to flout the well-being of themselves and their fellow citizens in a cavalier manner that is driving the COVID-19 case numbers through the national roof.

So what's to be done?

I'll tell you, in all modesty.

CREATE A GOVERNMENT HOTLINE.

That's the first step. Create a hotline where the criminal element that are not wearing masks in public places can be photographed with smartphones and their image sent to a government policing agency -- then, it's just a matter of face recognition technology to identify the culprits, track them down, and toss 'em in the hoosegow.

OFFER A BOUNTY.

The second step is to offer a bounty to those reporting the maskless marauders to the government hotline. I think a hundred dollars per person would be a fair amount. Deposited directly into a bank account. Why, if this were already in place I could have made seven hundred dollars this morning at the Rec Center alone!

Who the hell needs any kind of Paycheck Protection Program or  Stimulus Check Program, with this kind of bounty in place?

Now you may think I'm joking -- and maybe I am, right now.

But how far away do you really think we are from implementing some kind of draconian program like this to stave off a death toll not seen since the Middle Ages?

And, for better or worse, I'm claiming this original and wicked idea as my very own -- I thought it up first . . . 

BWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAA!