Monday, March 15, 2021

Prose Poem: A New York Minute

 



"I'll be with you in a New York minute"

I said to her on my phone,

in the lobby of a busy Federal building downtown.

Then I put my mask back on.

Suddenly whistles began to screech

and gongs began to reverberate,

like in a World War Two movie

when the sub has to crash dive.

Several people in expensive business suits

fainted dead away at my feet.

Children clung to their mothers, 

wide eyed with terror and loathing.

Two cops pinioned me to the wall.

The first cop snarled

"Caught in the act -- profiling!"

The second cop put me in handcuffs

before barking "You'll get life for this!"

I was led away to a judge, who

looked at me the way an owl

looks at a field mouse.

"I'm from New York, son"

he said sternly. "And I suppose

you don't care for our bagels, either!"

I wanted to explain, but my pro bono lawyer

advised me to throw myself on the

mercy of the court.

That was a big mistake.


I was led away to a correction facility

far away in New Jersey.

The first night they put me in a room

filled with inflated balloons;

they kept popping at random intervals.

I didn't get a wink of sleep.

Next day they fed me on nothing but

pot stickers -- with only 

fry sauce as a dip.

"This is an abomination!" I screamed

through the bars.

No one responded.

And so it continued.

I was hooked up to electrodes,

which then did nothing.

Nothing at all.

I nearly lost my mind.

Several times a week they

brought in Bob Ross to teach

me watercolors.

Now I hate the very sight

of mountains and pine trees.

After several months

I was a mere shadow of a man.

I had bags under my eyes

the size of Mount Rushmore.

But somehow I survived.

After twenty long years they released me.

"You're free to go now, friend"

said the Warden kindly,

as he gave me ten dollars

and a clean pair of socks.

He opened the gate to the outside

world. I blinked at the bright sunlight.

"Gee" I said happily, "it must be summer."

"It's hotter than a Texas pistol."

This time I got sent to 

Coney Island.  


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