We all have to make life choices from time to time.
I made one a while ago that I must share with you.
After hearing about all the plastic bags
being found in the stomachs of whales
and camels and cows,
I went on a plastic bag diet.
They are best eaten raw, sprinkled with
sea salt.
Make sure you get a variety of plastic
bags -- from the grocery, drug store, and dollar
store.
The different kinds of polyethylene they use
on the bags gives them a distinctive
taste and texture.
Don't be tempted to cheat by sneaking
in a few paper bags! They're full of corn
syrup.
And stay away from bubble wrap --
it'll make you flatulent.
Nowadays I snag my breakfast
from a trash can while out
walking in the park.
I meet friends for lunch downtown to
enjoy a plastic bag smoothie.
I usually skip dinner,
although sometimes I'll munch
on a quart-size baggie while watching
the boob tube.
Why am I sharing this with you?
Because I believe we can end
world hunger, here and now,
if we all work together to provide
enough plastic bags for everyone.
So won't you please bring all yours
to our Plastic Bags to
End Hunger Initiative
at the White House Rose Garden
this Easter Sunday?
Donations are tax deductible.
Koszonom!
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