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IT'S NOT HARASSMENT IF YOU SAY 'PLEASE' FIRST.

‘Remember, eye contact is optional - but eye gouging is a no-no’

‘Keep your seats in the presence of the elderly - they appreciate the leg exercise’

‘Please put your trash in Congress - where it belongs’

If this book were a tell-all it would only be 10 pages long . . .

I'm only going to say this one more time: The free Starbucks was yesterday.

Okay, we're going deep into the Paradise Papers -- got your cyanide pill?

Put up a giant bowling ball to honor veterans

The reason that postmodern art is safest for display

Is because nobody knows just what it has to say.

It loops and swerves without a hint of ancient knavery;

So it can never ever be allied with slavery.

A person on a pedestal will be a target, natch --

No matter who, or what they did, a piece of hell they’ll catch.

Somebody’s got it in for them; somebody will protest.

And then the money shrivels up -- the project’s put to rest.

Put up a giant bowling ball to honor pioneers.

Install a bunch of pipes and string for famous balladeers.

Even graveyard stones must be designed to be so bland

That nobody will find a cause to have them fully banned!

The End of the Circus in Italy

Animal rights advocates are celebrating a move by the Italian parliament on Wednesday to, over the next year, phase out the use of all animals in circuses and traveling shows.
"Italy has an estimated 100 circuses with some 2,000 animals making this one of the biggest victories in the campaign to stop circus suffering," according to Animal Defenders International's Stop Circus Suffering campaign. The European nation joins 40 other countries and several more municipalities that have outlawed the use of animals in circuses and traveling shows.  
from EcoWatch 

The circus in old Italy

Is now gonna be critter-free.

No lions or bears --

And so empty chairs

Are all the clowns likely will see.

Editor's Note: The story above appears to be an egregious example of 'fake news' by an organization with an agenda to peddle. From our Italian correspondent we have this explanation and update:

Raffaele de Ritis The exact quote in Italian is: “graduale superamento dell’utilizzo degli animali nello svolgimento delle attività circensi e dello spettacolo viaggiante”. In English is" gradual overcoming of the use of animals during the activites of circus and travelling entertainment". Nothing else. Not specified how and when. And the document is not a law about circus. It is a single line about circus within a 50-pages law about performing arts. It is a quite bizarre statement, but was a safe "italian way" to politically balance the interests of circus community and of the animal right movements as well. It says all and nothing. While being effectively a law, this is not at all a prohibition but an adress. Beside the symbolic value, negative for circus, it changes nothing. Italian circuses can continue to keep their animals.

Instant Ramen Noodle Review: Feng Tien Mushroom Flavored. From Taiwan. With a can of braised Eel.

There's very little English on this package of instant ramen noodles. Just enough to know that you put the noodles in a bowl, add boiling water, and wait 3 to 6 minutes. Because my stomach has a death wish this morning, I'm adding a can of Asian Taste brand braised eels. And some scallions. In lieu of flowers, please send cash donations to the Tim Torkildson Bachelors Don't Know How to Eat Fund.

Turns out the canned braised eels wasn't such a bad idea after all. Kinda dry and sweet.
The noodles had that nice mouth feel I associate with a decent comfort food. And the broth was savory without an in-your-face sodium blast. Not even a hint of mushroom, though.
Taken all in all, this is a fine instant ramen noodle. Wish I could give you its English brand name, but I can't find it anywhere on the bag.

Now I'm going to write a few limericks (they fit on Twitter now, y'know) and take a nap prior to ambling over to the Provo Senior Citizen's Center for my lunch -- garlic roast beef with new potatoes. Life just doesn't get much better for someone as attached to my belly as I am . . .

The French Language Just Got Dirtier

It may be still be too blue for English speakers, but authorities in Canada have ruled that the word “f*ck” is no longer taboo on French language broadcasts as its use is so commonplace.

The Canadian Broadcasting Standards Council (CBSC) had previously classified the word as being suitable only for adults in both French and English, banning its use on radio and television to beyond the evening watershed and even then, only with a warning.

But after complaints from listeners that the French-language Montreal radio station CKOI-FM had twice aired clips with the word this year, it changed its mind in a ruling released Wednesday.

The CBSC agreed with the station’s argument that “f*ck” was now “part of the common French spoken language” and therefore does not have “the same vulgar connotations when used in French.”  from The Guardian.

In days of yore, when mouths were clean,

Bad words were kept in the latrine.

Decorum then was recognized

As something that was civilized.

Today, at least in Gallic tongue,

Bad words are spread like garden dung.

The F-word is so common that

Its use is thought of as old hat.

Pardon me, but this ain’t news

To chase away my morning blues.

I wonder how the French would cope

With washing out their mouths with soap?

Vito Perillo, of Tinton Falls, NJ, Wins Mayor's Race at 93 Years of Age

When you have reached 93 years,

You haven’t got too many peers.

Running for mayor

Makes you a player

And puts a flea in many ears.

What passes for air in New Delhi

NEW DELHI — The toxic haze blanketing New Delhi was so severe on Tuesday that politicians announced plans to close schools, flights were delayed and the chief minister of Delhi state said the city had “become a gas chamber.”  from the NYTimes

What passes for air in New Delhi

Is more like a venomous jelly;

It’s so hard to breathe

You lungs start to seethe.

Even your clothes become smelly!

Instant Noodle Review: Instant Pad Thai Noodles. Mama brand. Made in Thailand.

These are not wheat noodles, like regular instant ramen -- they're rice noodles. I've always had trouble with instant rice noodles -- they come out a bit slimy for my taste. However, they're convenient -- just throw in a bowl, add boiling water, and wait 3 minutes. I let mine sit a bit longer than 3 minutes, since I was in the middle of composing a little ditty about Kleenex, which goes like this:

My kleenex in the wintertime

Is something like a valentine;

Caressing my red runny nose,

It cushions many viscous blows.

And like a lover, when it’s gone

I mourn its loss from dusk to dawn.

Drain the noodles, then add the flavor packet, the chili flakes packet, and the oil packet. Hot! Hot! Hot! Luckily, I also put in some black beans, scallions, and a pair of fried eggs -- with a liberal dose of fish sauce. So my tongue only steamed a bit -- it did not catch on fire. There's no broth with these noodles -- which I kinda miss. It reduces the satisfying slurp factor by half. And there's no such thing as 'stir fried flavor.'

This is nothing like real pad thai -- but for a quickie b'fast it'll do until ham and eggs come in a capsule like on the Jetsons.

I've put off doing my dishes longer than I realized -- are dishes and utensils supposed to turn green overnight?

Winter Biking

The chances that I’ll ride a bike through winter’s chilly slush

Are the same as being dealt in poker a straight flush.

For when the flakes start falling and the wind is sharp and keen,

Riding in the open is too much for any Green.

The icy path, the lumpy snow, the puddles just half froze --

These will keep me in my car, and not upon my toes.

Bundled up in layers thick, a scarf around my face,

I’ve no inclination a cold bicycle to race.

When they invent velocipedes that cushion me with air

That is warm and cozy I will peddle without care.

But till the lilacs are in bud and robins poke the ground,

I will find more balmy ways to make my daily round!

Hvordan holde brystene unge og Perky

Vestlige forskere begynner å ta et seriøst blikk på et gammelt urtemiddel som ofte brukes i Thailand og Myanmar, tidligere kjent som Burma. Pueraria mirificas tuberøse rødder (kalt Kwow Krua på Thai) vokser vilt gjennom mye av det nordlige og sentrale Thailand, og i de kuperte østlige delene av Myanmar. Det er nå nå oppdret kommersielt i Sørøst-Asia. For århundrer fortid ble det foredlet direkte fra jungelen av kvinner som praktiserte urtemedisin i sine landsbyer. Roten ble pundret i en pasta, deretter blandet med forskjellige andre krydder som gurkemeie og ingefær før de ble administrert til kvinner etter fødsel for å hjelpe til med å gjenopprette sin energi, fjerne strekkmerker og tone opp brystene.


Pueraria mirifica ble nylig anerkjent som et legitimt medisinsk legemiddel av den thailandske regjeringen og plassert i deres autoriserte Pharmacopeia. Offentlige tjenestemenn i Thailand anslår at medisinsk turisme vil regne med omsetning på rundt 49 milliarder baht i år. I amerikansk valuta er det omtrent 1,6 milliarder dollar. Og en god del av den inntekten er fra kosmetiske behandlinger, inkludert bruk av Pueraria mirifica.


Brukt som serum av thailandske medisinske fagpersoner, brukes ekstrakter av tuberroten for tiden til behandling av hudbetennelse og tørrhet, menopausal ustabilitet og PMS. Det er hovedbruk idag i medisinsk turisme industrien i Thailand, men er som en organisk buste enhancer. Behandling med Pueraria mirifica unngår ulempen og ubehag, for ikke å nevne den langvarige utvinningstiden, av tradisjonelle plastiske kirurgiske metoder for brystforbedring. Brukes som både en lokal krem ​​og en intern stimulant, hevder thailandske leger oppmuntrende resultater i å kontrollere østrogennivå, noe som igjen bidrar til å kontrollere bryststørrelsen og fastheten. Dette er veldig gode nyheter for kvinner som ikke ønsker å risikere invasive kirurgiske prosedyrer for å se sitt beste ut.


Medisinske og kulturelle historikere har notert med interesse at i den vestlige verdensmenstruasjonen, når østrogenivåene er høyest hos kvinner for å fylle ut og forme deres bryst for pleie, begynner senere og senere i livet. Mens overgangsalderen ofte begynte i en alder av elleve i utviklede land (som det fremdeles gjør i de fleste tredje verdens land), begynner det nå ikke før 15, eller senere. Dette reduserer den kvinnelige kroppens inntak av østrogen og svindler dermed brystkjertlene av deres fullstendige østrogenforsyning - som er nødvendig for å holde brystene faste og velskapte. Det er derfor østrogen kosttilskudd er en populær og mye spionerad behandling for myke brystene - de hjelper til med å gjenopprette ungdommens ungdommelige vår uten å ty til kirurgi.


Problemet med mange østrogenbehandlinger er imidlertid at de bruker kunstig produsert østrogen. Disse kjemiske rekreasjonene er ikke den nøyaktige kampen for naturlig østrogen, og det er ikke så effektivt og kan noen ganger føre til bivirkninger. Hva Pueraria mirifica gir, er et stimulerende middel som hjelper en kvinnes kropp til å øke sin egen østrogenproduksjon naturlig og sikkert. Det er et helt organisk og bærekraftig dyrt naturlig supplement uten kjente bivirkninger eller ulemper. Det er behagelig duft minner om sitrongress og jasmin.