uferdig

there is no end;

only ending.

Truth

And it came to pass that many means were

devised to reclaim and restore the Lamanites

to the knowledge of the truth; but it all was vain,

for they delighted in wars and bloodshed, and

they had an eternal hatred against us, their

brethren. And they sought by the power

of their arms to destroy us continually.

Jacob. Chapter Seven. Verse 24.

The truth is a hard thing to share

With those who just think it’s hot air.

They say it’s a trick,

Or simply are thick;

They’d rather make war than try prayer.

How to become Better Organized

We all want to be more organized. To accomplish more with our time, and so to have more of it to appreciate the finer things in life. But between careers and families and the many other obligations we have, it’s hard to concentrate and find ways to manage our time more efficiently. As someone who has managed his time so efficiently that he now has the leisure to be the neighborhood buttinsky, I humbly offer these salient tips:

1.  Always have a goal. Such as “Take a nap” or “Eat more Cheetos." This will help you focus on your immediate needs, instead of some far away and nebulous dream like “Go to College” or “Get a job”.

2.  Keep the TV on. Studies show that people who are bombarded with idiotic drivel 24/7 tend to have a high tolerance for pain. So if you accidentally puncture your thumb with the stapler you won't have to waste any time at the ER; you can just keep working while moping up the blood with a kleenex until it stops bleeding.

3.  Personal hygiene! Don’t let it slide. When you are filing your taxes take time out to bite your fingernails to the nub. When you finish them you’ll be able to leave a little blood on the forms – maybe the IRS will feel sorry for you and double your refund. Hah!

4.  Drop all your friends. They’re only distractions. You should, however, increase the number of your enemies; they’ll keep you on your toes.

5.  Do two things at once. Like writing a blog and tossing lit matches at open gasoline cans at the same time . . . whoops, there goes the garage.

6.   Keep a bowl of bran flakes at your desk. Throw them at people who look like they want to talk to you.

7.  Revert to the Julian calendar. You’ll automatically gain 22 days that the Gregorian calendar abolished back 1582.

8.  Color code your fingers. Make your thumb blue, your index finger green, your middle finger red, your ring finger white, and your pinky black. Only use one color per day. This saves wear and tear on your digits so you can wiggle them faster and longer than anybody else.

9.  Use note cards. Along with a comb they make a swell kazoo. By the time you can play Flight of the Bumble Bee you’ll find that there’s very little left in your life to organize.

10.  Learn to delegate. Tell your spouse to take out the trash, your boss to write his own reports, and give complete strangers all your spare cash to invest for you. You’ll be surprised at the results. Not pleased, just surprised.

11.  Live in your closet. That way when you want something that’s in your closet you just have to reach for it. No more tedious hikes, or interaction with the human race – those unorganized wretches!

How to be a better Parent

Being a parent is not only a fulltime job, it is a holy calling akin to being crowned Pope, and a sentence of penal servitude with no time off for good behavior. There are good days, and there are bad days, but mostly there are just days – they start to blend into each other like the mashed potatoes and peas on your child’s plate which he or she refuses to eat because they look so yucky. Sociologists have broken parenthood down into six separate stages. We thought you might find them useful to know:

1. Joy: The very first stage of parenthood is joy. You’re going to have a baby! Everyone is notified; baby showers are given; there are sly nudges and innuendoes about what goes into the process of making a baby. Then the baby comes, and you videotape it to show to all your friends and family. Nobody’s baby ever looked this charming or gave more evidence of budding genius, and hand/eye coordination. The kid is definitely going places, and you two are responsible for it all! Without a sip of alcohol, you remain giddy for days and weeks.
2. Despair: Don’t babies ever sleep? Does the pooping ever stop? What fiend invented the lie that breastfeeding is natural and simple? Exhausted and sore, with every emotion wrung out of you like a wet rag, you can only gasp for air before going down for the third time. This child cannot be normal; no one human being can be this cruel, demanding, smelly, and loud. Lemme look at the warranty on this kid . . .
3. Acceptance: The child grows and you find that you haven’t died of exhaustion or heart attack, and you haven’t wigged out with mental stress. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all . . . other people manage to do it, and they are lot less prepared than we are! Of course, it’s gonna cost a fortune to raise him or her properly, and there goes that backpacking trip through Nepal we promised ourselves when we got married. Oh well, everyone says that the time goes by fast when you’ve got one kid to raise. We’ll just tough it out until the kid can be left alone and then we’ll still take that hike up Mount Everest.
4. You’re WHAT!? I thought we agreed on only one . . . how can you . . . why did you . . . when did we . . . ? Okay, okay, okay . . . I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m soooooo sorry. The first one was just a dry run. This time there’ll be no surprises. What if it’s twins . . . ?
5. Veterans: You’ve seen it all, heard it all, and wiped it all. They turn into tweens and then teens and then young adults (What a misnomer THAT is!) They move out and then move back in and then move out again, and suddenly there are little strangers running between your legs and you’re grandparents. How did that happen? Who gave them permission to grow up and start repeating all the mistakes we made?
6. Aren’t you Peggy? No? Well, where’s Peggy? Is she late? Can I have dinner now? Whaddya mean it’s too early? Don’t use that tone of voice with me; I can remember when you, when you...who ARE you? I’d like to take a nap now, please...

the infinite blue

the infinite blue

ends where it began as blue

purity of space

A prisoner of time

. . . the time passed away with us, and also our lives passed

away like as it were unto us a dream . . .

Jacob. Chapter Seven. Verse 26.

Looking back upon my life, it does seem like a dream;

The flood of time has washed my essence rapidly downstream.

How came I settled where I am? What am I now to do?

The past and present have combined into a scrambled view.

A prisoner of time am I; confined and sinking fast.

Oh Lord may I awake to Thee from reverie at last!

A letter from my missionary daughter in Dana Point, California.

Helloooo everyone!

This week has been crazy busy getting settled in to my new area in Dana Point! It's quite different from San Clemente, but it's pretty cool :) I don't get to see the ocean as often, but there are so many cool little houses built on windy roads and steep hills. We have  a lot of members who don't come to church, which is a bummer, so I think we'll be working on visiting them and serving them so they know that they're valued and needed. It's been an interesting experience being with a different companion in a totally new area. My goal when I got here was to treat myself like I wasn't a new missionary. Which basically means: fake it til ya make it ( or having a ton of faith, if you want to put it in spiritual terms). Acting confident and like I know what I'm doing is hard and not very convincing sometimes, but it's helped a lot with making the transition. You just have to know that God is in control and listen for His voice to tell you what to do. I've learned that His voice comes in many different ways: through church leaders, especially the prophet; through studying the scriptures; and through the gift of the Spirit.

 My new companion's name is Sister Peterson, she's from Utah, was adopted and is half Tongan! She's hilarious and really fun to be around, she loves missionary work and the people here. She sings suuuuper well, so I'm excited to use music in our teaching when I find a guitar! We've seen miracles already this week and I'm excited to see what God will have us do in the future :) There's a few pictures of us in the folder below. 

Well friends, that's all the time I have this week. I want you each to know how special you are to our Heavenly Father and how much he cares for you. When it seems like no one else is there for you, He always is. Just look up! :) Have an awesome week!!

Love, Sister Torkildson

The Saga of Pointy Pete

With publishers craving stories about critters other than

 ‘the big two,’ writers crank out tales of life with hedgehogs,

 tarantulas and tree kangaroos.  WSJ

“The Porcupine Who Saved Me” is the title of my book;

All about an animal with many a barbed hook.

It shuffled in my tent one day while I was fast asleep,

And needled me so thoughtfully that I yelled out ‘Oh bleep!’

I took the critter home with me to assuage my woe

Over my true love’s betrayal seven years ago.

She left me for the chance to work at ASPCA,

In the Great Blue Hole, Belize, with dolphins and stingray.

I named it Pointy Pete, although I didn’t know its sex;

And learned to back off when its spiky back muscles did flex.

Whenever I had company, ol’ Pete was always quick

To offer each and ev’ry guest their very own toothpick.

Then just when Pointy Pete and I were going to be married,

A Greyhound bus ran over him and he was quickly buried.

But he has left me with the marks of love and true devotion,

Which have become infected and require Walgreen lotion.

Helping to find joy

President Russell M. Nelson

“Everything we do in the Church is to make life better for

other people, to bring them joy.”

President Russell M. Nelson, speaking in Hong Kong.

The short supply of joy on earth should mean that people want

To know wherein their happiness can find a nursing font.

And yet so few are now convinced that any church at all

Can nourish them and help them flee the devil’s bitter gall.

A better life comes not from strife, nor from the cynic’s sneer;

But only through our faith in Christ, and in his prophet dear.

There is comfort, there is bliss, inside the Savior’s church;

Don’t wait too long to join our throng while doing your research!

Too Much Knowledge is a Dangerous Thing -- if it's mine.

As justifiable as the focus on Facebook has been, though, it isn’t 
 the full picture. If the concern is that companies may be collecting
some personal data without our knowledge or explicit consent,
 Alphabet Inc.’s Google is a far bigger threat by many measures:
 the volume of information it gathers, the reach of its tracking
 and the time people spend on its sites and apps.
WSJ

Since Google knows all about me

Perhaps they can give me the key

As to why I persist

In letting them list

My info sans wild shooting spree.