No Tariffs on Chinese Knockoffs -- A Robot Wants Your Job -- Wall Street Feels Frisky

Knockoffs of famous brands — Coach, Kate Spade and others — are mostly made in China and arrive at U.S. shores through clandestine channels built to dodge authorities. The authentic purses and their components, also made in China, are shipped through official routes and will face Trump’s proposed new duties of 10 percent effective next Monday.

This all stacks up in favor of the counterfeit labels at every step of their illicit journey: from factory floors in China to street vendors in cities worldwide.  WaPo.

There was a young lass from Granada

who purchased a counterfeit Prada.

She also bit on

fake Louis Vuitton

for her cheap fashion armada.

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In South Korea, there are more than 600 installed industrial robots for every 10,000 workers in manufacturing facilities. In Japan there are more than 300 and in the United States nearly 200. Profit maximization, and the relatively high cost of human labor, helps drive automation. The average hourly cost of a manufacturing worker is $49 in Germany and $36 in the U.S. The hourly cost of a robot is $4.  Pew Research Center.

I think it an awful disgrace

a robot will soon take my place

on factory floor,

thus making me poor,

and winning the vicious rat race.

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The Dow Jones Industrial Average and the S&P 500 climbed to hit new intraday highs Thursday as expectations for another surge in corporate profits helped investors look past the latest trade sparring between the U.S. and China.   WSJ

They say it's a very good sign

the Dow Jones is over the line.

But I hesitate

to throw a big fete;

remember 1929?

Vidhi Doshi, of the Washington Post, responded to the above with his own limerick:

has everyone forgotten the crash?

of '08 when we all lost our cash

maybe im grim

keepin it trim

maybe its time for a big splash

Life Insurance Scams -- License Plate Lunacy -- Care Providers in Cahoots to Keep Costs Sky High

Universal life was a sensation when it premiered, and for some years it worked as advertised. It included both insurance and a savings account that earns income to help pay future costs and keep the premium the same.

The result of dead interest rates is a flood of unexpectedly steep life-insurance bills that is fraying a vital safety net. Some find they owe thousands of dollars a year to keep modest policies in effect. People with million-dollar policies can owe tens of thousands annually. Some retirees are dropping policies on which they paid premiums for decades.  WSJ

My policy bought long ago

is bleeding me of all my dough.

My tragic surmise

is that swift demise

would now be doggone apropos.

For a fringe of American drivers, having a fine car isn’t enough. They must have low license-plate numbers, too, and they’re fueling competition for the tags that can be relentless. In Delaware, a decades long obsession over tags with few digits has given rise to a vibrant private market.  WSJ

When license plates cost more than cars,

there ought to be folks behind bars.

Such fripperies show

that people who blow

their wads on such things must see stars.

Dominant hospital systems use an array of secret contract terms to protect their turf and block efforts to curb health-care costs. As part of these deals, hospitals can demand insurers include them in every plan and discourage use of less-expensive rivals. Other terms allow hospitals to mask prices from consumers, limit audits of claims, add extra fees and block efforts to exclude health-care providers based on quality or cost.   WSJ 

I went to the hospital sick,

and wanted a cheap stay to pick.

But doctors and clerks

just acted like jerks --

my wallet came out anemic.

Nearly half of all cellphone calls next year will come from scammers, according to First Orion, a company that provides phone carriers and their customers caller ID and call blocking technology.  WaPo

The IRS is closing in,

and Immigration wants my kin.

My student loans are way behind;

my car insurance is declined.

It seems to trouble I am prone,

according to my damn cell phone.

But all is well and fancy free

if I just pay a little fee

with money order or gift card,

to avoid some jail time hard.

So scammers, come and get your cash --

and hear my blunderbuss go 'crash!'

3 Stories from the LA Times -- #1 Stormy Daniels -- #2 Are California School Kids Dumber than Average? -- #3 Japanese Billionaire to fly to Moon

The British newspaper The Guardian obtained a pre-release copy of Stormy Daniel's book, titled “Full Disclosure.” In the passages they share, the former pornographic film actress writes in salacious detail about her encounter with Trump, which she writes was "the least impressive sex I’d ever had."

A prostitute writing a book

has got an immediate hook:

vast fortunes are paid

to see who gets laid --

while the authoress cocks a rich snook.

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When students enter school in California, they learn at a pace on par with — if not better than — those in other states.

The problem is that they arrive far behind their national peers, and they never catch up.

A child in the Golden State crawls

into the public school halls

at such a slow pace

that their future place

is clerking in large shopping malls.

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Japanese e-commerce billionaire Yusaku Maezawa will be the first paying customer to travel around the moon on SpaceX’s yet-to-be-developed BFR rocket, the company announced Monday night.

In a presentation at SpaceX headquarters in Hawthorne, Maezawa — who is worth $2.9 billion, according to Forbes — said that his flight will occur in 2023 and that he wants to invite six to eight artists to accompany him.

It would be mankind's greatest boon

to send billionaires to the moon,

but keep their cash here

to purchase good beer

to share in a drunken monsoon. 

Google's Smart Reply --

Originally launched as an app-only feature to help smartphone users avoid the hassle of typing on their phones, Smart Reply has become ubiquitous since Google began defaulting its 1.4 billion active accounts to the new version of Gmail in recent weeks. By next month, the feature—which uses artificial intelligence to scan incoming emails and predict possible responses—will become a default setting for all Gmail accounts.   WSJ

I do not like Smarty Reply.

It's like a vexatious magpie.

There's no thought behind

the phrases streamlined;

another abuse of AI.

What kind of personality are you?

In a report published Monday in the journal Nature Human Behavior, researchers at Northwestern University in Illinois identify four personality types: reserved, role models, average and self-centered.  WaPo

I've been around the block a couple times and so I know

the kind of personalities that people often show.

Rubbing shoulders with the best and worst has taught me well

that most folk crawl around inside a very heavy shell.

And when they take a peek outside, just like the torpid snail,

their faces look so wicked it would make a Karloff quail.

This makes me misanthropic, trusting no one but myself

to guide my humble destiny while gathering some pelf.

I don't think personality is likely to be known

from tests and mumbo jumbo that come from the Twilight Zone.

People just are no darn good -- that is my guide and stay;

I try to keep them at arm's length and hope they'll go away.

In fact I've come at last to think -- well, now, just what is this?

Who is this little cutie pie that's giving me a kiss?

My grand daughter, god bless her heart, is begging for a cuddle.

Forget all that I wrote above; twas just an old man's muddle.

An Email from Sister Torkildson in California

Aloooooooha! 

Okay, so I have a LOT of catching up to do in the photo department as you can see! We've had some wonderful adventures the last couple of weeks such as: hiking in Laguna Beach at a place called Top of the World; Zone temple trip to Newport Beach! (I've included the goofy one because I don't want you to think that we're completely normal, we're definitely not!); a Relief Society (women's group at church) beach party!( were technically not ON the sand just a few inches from it, so no rules broken ;) ; fun group outings and much more! 

But as much fun as we have had, we've also been working super hard. Since I am a Sister Training Leader in the zone, I get to go to additional meetings to learn more about how to be an effective leader and how to help others in my zone. I learned a lot at this last meeting we had on Friday; we talked a lot about sacrifice ( this topic keeps coming up for some reason) and how it means to make something holy; we also talked about expecting a miracle even when it seems like you're not being rewarded for the good things you do. There was a missionary who quoted something and I really liked it and wanted to share it with you as well: "Pray like everything depends on God and then work as if everything depends on you." In having a mindset like that, there's no way that you won't see miracles! I have also been learning about the importance of sharing what I believe to be true with others sincerely, even though they may seem uninterested or rude. It's hard for someone to reject a statement of belief, especially when it's sincere and heartfelt. So I'm working on choosing to love people and give them the best opportunity to hear the message we have instead of just handing them a card with our number on it. I'll share one experience with that that we had this week: 

On Friday night we had dinner with a member at 5 Guys and as we were walking to our car afterwards we saw a woman walking toward us who worked in the business complex. We decided to stop and talk to her and we came to find that she was recently divorced and going through a rough time. She said she misses church and needs to go back, so we taught her about God's love for her and that he knows her personally and wants her and her family to be together forever. She started to cry and we embraced her and asked if we could share more messages like that with her and she excitedly said yes. We got her contact information and sent it to the Anaheim mission since that's where she lives ,but This was such a tender experience for me to have been a part of. It greatly increased my faith and testimony that God has everything under control and he will put us where he needs us. You truly never know what people are going through, but God does and He will put you in the right place at the right time so that you can help someone else feel how much He loves them and knows them. 

I love this gospel, it brings so much joy and happiness to our lives! I love being a representative of Jesus Christ, I will always hold this time in my life as a sacred experience to reflect upon for the rest of my life. I love each one of you, and I know our Father in Heaven does too! Have a wonderful week! 

How Fat are Mormons? -- The Aging Japanese Army -- Keeping Sugar out of the Office

A new report from Trust for America’s Health and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation found that Utah has the sixth-lowest obesity rate in the country.  Deseret News

Why are the Mormons so thin?

"The fat of the land" is no sin.

Perhaps their travails

upon mountain trails

is keeping them just bone and skin.

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Like the rest of Japan, the country’s military is getting older—and a shortage of young recruits has raised concerns among defense planners about maintaining the strength of its forces. WSJ

The Japanese Army's so old

they no longer march, but are rolled

in wheelchairs to war

since their feet are sore,

with blankets to keep out the cold.

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Most employees like the free doughnuts, cake and other confections that get parked “in the usual place” at work. But exploding rates of obesity and diabetes make sugar more like cigarettes to some employers. Tempting treats are the new secondhand smoke.  WSJ

My boss says no donuts for me;

they're giving me obesity.

But coffee and tea

are offered for free --

caffeine's got good lobbyists, see?

A Tweet from Trump -- Consumer Sentiment

Consumer Sentiment hit its highest level in 17 years this year. Sentiment fell 11% in 2015, an Obama year, and rose 16% since the Election, @realDonaldTrump


Consumers all love me, you bet.
They've never had cause to regret
my tariffs or walls,
and overseas brawls --
and I am not through with them yet!

flower pushing rock

flower pushing rock --

so you think you can move it?

I'll write down your dream