3 Stories from the LA Times -- #1 Stormy Daniels -- #2 Are California School Kids Dumber than Average? -- #3 Japanese Billionaire to fly to Moon

The British newspaper The Guardian obtained a pre-release copy of Stormy Daniel's book, titled “Full Disclosure.” In the passages they share, the former pornographic film actress writes in salacious detail about her encounter with Trump, which she writes was "the least impressive sex I’d ever had."

A prostitute writing a book

has got an immediate hook:

vast fortunes are paid

to see who gets laid --

while the authoress cocks a rich snook.

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When students enter school in California, they learn at a pace on par with — if not better than — those in other states.

The problem is that they arrive far behind their national peers, and they never catch up.

A child in the Golden State crawls

into the public school halls

at such a slow pace

that their future place

is clerking in large shopping malls.

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Japanese e-commerce billionaire Yusaku Maezawa will be the first paying customer to travel around the moon on SpaceX’s yet-to-be-developed BFR rocket, the company announced Monday night.

In a presentation at SpaceX headquarters in Hawthorne, Maezawa — who is worth $2.9 billion, according to Forbes — said that his flight will occur in 2023 and that he wants to invite six to eight artists to accompany him.

It would be mankind's greatest boon

to send billionaires to the moon,

but keep their cash here

to purchase good beer

to share in a drunken monsoon.