Keeping a closed mind.

 

"We're going to reopen your mind again"

said the little man.

"It's too early" I told him.

"I'm not ready to accept new

and unknown ideas -- they might be

infectious."

"That's a chance we're willing to take"

said the little man, adjusting his glasses

and straightening his necktie. 

Like this was some sort of news 

conference or something.

"I'm against it" I told him.

"I'm going on record as against it."

"In fact" I continued, 

"I'll get an injunction!"

So I did.

The judge was very accommodating.

He said opening my mind to the world

would be tantamount to premeditated

murder.

So for now my mind remains shut.

Nothing and nobody gets in.

And nobody and nothing gets out.

Once a month a box of sterile

cliches arrives -- 

and that's quite enough for me

to get along on, thank you very 

much.

I just wish the stores

would hurry and restock

brain sanitizer.

Photo Essay: Experiments in Collage. Vol. 5

 

Timericks from stories in today's New York Times.

 

The economic strain of the coronavirus pandemic has more Americans turning to food banks and charity for help feeding their families.

Charity and kindness are old Hunger's grand design;

he wants us to be famished for the sake of our waistline.

Rich or poor, he labors to see that we all lose some weight

by killing the economy and stealing from out plate.

We ought to thank him deeply that our food's in short supply;

for skeletons are graceful and are known to be quite spry.

 What to do if a bat gets in your house. 

Should a bat get in my hut,

I would go insane somewhat;

for such creatures of the night

give me nothing much but fright.

Chittering and gnashing sharp

teeth mean I'll go under tarp

and not ever reappear

till my wife tells me 'All Clear.'

As He Questions His Opponent’s Health, Trump Finds His Own Under Scrutiny.

Fibbing gives you lungs of steel;

ignorance, a happy feel.

Tweeting all the livelong day

chases ev'ry germ away.

Do you wonder that our Boss

is as healthy as a hoss?

Most Businesses Were Unprepared for Covid-19. Domino’s Delivered.

Imperishable pizza, you're a godsend to my days;

you never cease to fill me with anchovies and amaze.

I love your little dimples where the sauce pools red and bright;

who else is there to comfort me when sleepless late at night?

They cannot take away your crust, or banish pepperoni;

otherwise I think my heart shall turn to chalcedony!

Timericks from stories in today's Wall Street Journal.

 

Brazil’s Vice President Admits Mistakes in Fighting Amazon Deforestation.

In Brazil the Amazon is fading fast away;

the government's impatient for a quick and clean payday.

Once the forest's gone for good the present politicians

will remove to Switzerland to check on ski conditions.

U.S. Pulls Back on Quickly Returning Migrant Children to Home Countries.

Welcome, little children, to the great big USA --

unfortunately we cannot permit you long to stay.

So pack up all your teddy bears and wipe away those tears;

we'd rather have you grow up with your gangster-ridden peers.

China Launches Experimental Spaceplane.

China's gone to outer space

and will build a great moon base.

Then to Mars, and Venus, too,

where she'll start a barbecue.

Uncle Sam had better wake

to his stingy dumb mistake!

The Unswept World

 

As the mountains, dry and mighty,

rear above my thirsty head,

may the Gospel oft refresh me,

as this unswept world I tread.

Timericks from stories in today's Washington Post.

 

President Trump on Thursday sought to clarify remarks in which he suggested voting twice, saying in tweets that he was instead urging those who vote by mail to follow up at their polling place to make sure their mail-in ballots have been counted.

There once was a President who

wanted with voting to screw.

He said to vote twice;

illegal advice

that honest campaigning would skew.

After Trump moved to slash federal funding from several cities his administration labeled as “anarchist jurisdictions” late Wednesday, specifically singling out New York, Cuomo shot back. The commander in chief, he said, was “persona non grata” in their shared hometown.

New York is a city on trial;

Trump thinks it's a big crocodile

that ought to be shot

like some Huguenot

that thought the French king rather vile.

The coronavirus pandemic stranded this traveling family circus.

The clowns ain't smiling anymore.

The camel's looking mighty poor.

The Ringmaster has lost his voice.

The circus faces Hobson's Choice.

Perhaps they all will run away

to join a home and no more stray.

The pandemic is ruining our sleep. Experts say ‘coronasomnia’ could imperil public health.

If I should ever sleep again,

I don't know how; I don't know when.

Pandemic stress keeps me awake

like a ceaseless sharp toothache.

I toss and turn like restless wave

and haven't got the strength to shave.

If I don't get some sleep real fast

you'll find me an iconoclast!

Photo Essay: Experiments in Collage. Vol. 4.

 

If you sit upon the fence

 

If you sit upon the fence where Gospel truths apply,

You will find salvation has most sadly passed you by.

Photo Essay: Experiments in Collage. Vol. 3

 

Timericks from stories in today's New York Times.

 

The Biden ad, part of a $45 million one-week television and digital purchase that is by far the campaign’s largest to date, comes as the Democratic nominee pushes back against President Trump’s attacks.

Spending for the campaign is certainly immense.

Seems they are determined not to spare the least expense.

If I had a million of that chunk of change they've got,

I'd become a pirate on my rakish little yacht!

It’s only September, but Santa Claus is already nervous about coming to town.

I'm so broke that Christmas time this year will be a farce.

My purse is full of aphids and my bank account is sparse.

If Santa doesn't come through with bright packages galore,

my kids are gonna start up with another long Cold War!

Trump Says Some Really Strange Things. Republicans Say No Comment, Again.

Riddle me this, O White House savants:

How does he do it with such nonchalance?

Outrageous statements that turn statesmen grey,

and ignorance that would shame old Dennis Day.