Torku.

 

sliced white bread

spread with stone

as seen on TV

frozen white waves

over no shores

gluten free

The big questions don't matter.

Hamburger fried with onions

is the answer to everything.

Today's timericks. Sunday, October 18, 2020.

 

I work at home, without a care/that I am in my underwear/My hair's a mess; my teeth unbrushed/and after Five I'm pretty flushed/Potato chips on my keyboard/are swept aside or just ignored/The TV plays, just to my right/I'm now allergic to sunlight/A cyber hermit for my job/I've now become the perfect slob.

Orders placed online today/in the warehouse long will stay/Deliveries will be postponed/and eventually disowned/cuz there ain't enough strong hands/to promote our Christmas plans/Once this problem is debated/have child labor reinstated/Otherwise old Santa Claus/will put your presents all on pause. 

I wish I weren't a poet;

Impractical am I.

When I should be out working,

I'm gazing at the sky.

The world needs men of action,

who flinch not at the fight.

Me, I sit and daydream

of just which word is right.

Homer was a poet,

and Milton weren't no slouch.

But my stuff is so tepid

'twould make Joe Brodsky crouch.

I shoulda been a barber,

just cutting people's hair;

I'd still have finer feelings,

but I just wouldn't care.

after you have took a spin/keep an eye on your new Schwinn/do not think of any folly/that would leave alone your Raleigh/thieves will work with lightning speed/to hijack velocipede/Bring it inside; crooks do mock/any kind of tandem lock/Makes you wonder if their strikes/will include now kiddy trikes.

The Lord of the harvest

 

The Lord of harvest so gently weaves

each of us into his sheaves;

He neglects no single straw,

and binds us with a loving awe.

Reaped are we by ardent hands,

no matter race or creed or lands.

Light Verse: Thailand.

 

Drowsy and contented, Thais/now are on the wild uprise/When I lived there long ago/they took things so calm and slow/Orchids and a bowl of rice/was to them sweet paradise/Now they demonstrate in streets/with the rage of young afreets/Royalty no longer means/much more than a hill of beans/They are tired of their bosses/who talk big to cover losses/They are not afraid of jails/and if their revolution fails/they will try again no doubt/to make their overlords get out.

Mansions.

 

Any mansion God may build

isn't for the soul self-willed.

Homeless among fleshpots, he

only can so sheltered be.

Walk uprightly before God

 

An upright walk before the Lord

will bring to me a joy restored.

But if I slouch, go on all fours,

I'll be extinct like dinosaurs. 

Today's Timericks.

 

I never pay my taxes;

why should I dole out cash

to Uncle Sammy's minions

as they make things a hash.

My tax return is bogus;

so what if I am caught.

I'll hire a big lawyer

who wears a silk ascot.

He'll get me off for certain,

and if he don't -- oh well,

at least when I'm in prison

I won't need my hair gel.

The Right is having kittens,

as social platforms halt

stories they want posted --

tho lies they do exalt.

They're gonna shut down Facebook,

then Twitter will be next;

unless, of course they happen

to write big campaign checks.

If Trump thinks he's a naturalist,

then I am Rin Tin Tin.

Mother Nature gets from him

naught but Mickey Finn.

The last time that he hugged a tree

was when he thought it grew

money from each branchlet

and shed gold like morning dew!

To sing the song of redeeming love

 

To sing of His redeeming love

is done without constraint;

no voice is incompatible,

too loud, too cracked, too faint.

Join in singing this grand hymn,

O people of the Earth.

To celebrate the Christ's great love

and our divine rebirth!

All voices to redeeming love

will sing combined one day,

since Christ has come off conqueror

and in our hearts will stay.

More Timericks for Wednesday Evening.

 

Goodbye, Sunny Florida. Hello, Frigid Winter. Covid Strands Canadian Snowbirds.

In Toronto hear them screech/We have lost Miami Beach!/

And in Moose Jaw, eyes all glassy/they all yearn for Tallahassee/

Canada's no place to be/when the snow falls constantly/

But the frozen residents/are the victims of events/

never nearer the Equator/or the kindly alligator. 

Why Scientists Made Venus Flytraps That Glow.

Idle hands in science labs/crossing tulips with blue crabs/

making Venus flytraps glow/straightening the curved rainbow/

Put their noses to grindstone/so they'll leave the Earth alone.

Otherwise we're on the brink/of crossing sponge with kitchen sink!

As election nears, Pentagon leaders’ goal of staying out of elections is tested.

No one at the Pentagon/will admit they need to fawn/

over politicians who/squeeze their purse strings till they're blue/

Chiefs of Staff think it is droll/that they'd spurn a big bank roll/

Whoever wins next month will find/that brass hat begging is refined!

 

Firmness and steadiness in the faith.

 

Firm and steady as a rock;

 taking action,

not just standing still with idle talk

Faith can move your mountains --

but, when given without guile,

sometimes miracles occur 

from just a little smile.