Saturday, March 30, 2019

Cherishing Blockbuster



The Bend store, three hours from Portland, was already attracting tourists last summer, when it became the last Blockbuster in America. As it prepares to become the last true Blockbuster in the world on Sunday — when the only other one, in Australia, closes — even more selfie-snapping pilgrims have arrived.
One of them, Steven Mercadante, drove his 2013 Kia Soul nearly 1,000 miles from Southern California through pelting rain to get to Bend.
“I just wanted to relive my childhood, said Mr. Mercadante, 32, a Walmart cashier who grew up in a military family that moved frequently. Blockbuster, like strawberry milk and Kraft macaroni and cheese, was a constant and a comfort for him.
NYT

don't condemn this man
for his driven folly
*
he wants his past back
which is never a silly
thing
*
behind all of us
far back in the summer
smiles of a moment
wrapped in amber
 resides Blockbuster
*
one last chance
one final view
to feel
quickened
*
then back to the
brexiting
and trumpeting
and netpicking
*
the comfort is gone
gone from me
taken away by
tinhorn maturity
and barcodes
*

Friday, March 29, 2019

Watermelon pickles cured me of teenage angst

Dr. Ramsey argues that a poor diet is a major factor contributing to the epidemic of depression, which is the top driver of disability for Americans aged 15 to 44, according to a report by the World Health Organization. Together with Samantha Elkrief, a chef and food coach who sits in on many of his patient sessions, he often counsels patients on how better eating may lead to better mental health.
NYT

historians note that Caesar
conquered Gall on nothing
but anchovy pizza
and sweet red wine
*
while his men
a sad moping lot
subsisted on salt
vinegar and radishes
*
you can't comfort 
anybody with apples
but give them a swig
of apple brandy
*
for best results
*
America needs more
White Castle
and less
kale
*
you ever see a sad person
in White Castle?
if you start to cry
they kick you out
*
a Sunday bowl of menudo
covers a lot of turmoil
and watermelon pickles
cured me of teenage angst
*
there are more old chefs
than there are old doctors
and ketchup will be
making a comeback
*
any day now





SCOTUS Halts Execution, Ruling Inmate Entitled to Buddhist Cleric


WASHINGTON—The Supreme Court blocked Texas from executing a Buddhist inmate Thursday, saying that the condemned man, Patrick Murphy, was entitled to a spiritual adviser in the death chamber just as Christian prisoners may request a chaplain’s presence as they draw their final breath.
WSJ


when I go
and I think I'll go in a prison
because a poet's life
always ends badly
if they wait too long
to publish*
I want
a
French pastry chef
to attend me in the death chamber
in traditional white toque
to comfort me with
puits d'amour
bichon au citron
vol-au-vent
and a
tarte des Alpes*
plus
I'll need a sommelier
cuz I ain't going
into that good night
sober


And it came to pass that they did rejoice exceedingly


And it came to pass that they did rejoice exceedingly . . .
First Nephi. Chapter Five. Verse 9.

The joy of God
is not concealed;
but by the Spirit
is revealed.

In desert, on the open sea,
wherever faith has cause to flee,
you will not hear a tale of woe
but happy thanks from lips will flow.

When setbacks in the world I meet,
help me like Lehi to be sweet;
and help my faith a courage be 
to bring about festivity.

Thursday, March 28, 2019

Pennsylvania Legislator Stepanie Borowicz Prays for God’s Forgiveness Before First Muslim Woman Sworn In as Representative (Slate)




Pennsylvania Lawmaker Prays for God’s Forgiveness Before First Muslim Woman Sworn In as Representative


Dear God
forgive my ignorance
in promoting suspicion
and fear
instead of hope and trust
*
may my hands
lose their cunning
when it comes to
writing any more trash
to speak
*
give me the grace and wit
to wait for more
inspiration
and less
damnation
*
forgive my agendas, O Lord,
and lead me not into
self righteous bigotry
forever and ever
oy vey

China Floats Cloud Concession to Foreign Tech Firms in U.S. Trade Talks (WSJ)



I want to be a Chinese cloud,
so open and so free.
To float above the landscape
in pure love and harmony.
*
And ev'ryone can use me
for their data storage needs;
with all the best security
at such bodacious speeds.
*
Come unto me, ye data files
so weary from the wiles
of other cloud pretenders
who cajole you with their smiles.
*
For I will keep your info
locked up tightly, there's no doubt.
In fact, when you do need it
I will never let it out . . . 

What are subway bathrooms for?



But subway bathrooms have long occupied an inner ring of the city’s underworld, each grim, battered door a portal to a multisensory nightmare.
NYT


what are subway bathrooms for?
I'll tell you what they're for
they're detriments to crime
on a scale as yet
unimagined by our 
staid court system

just think of it

a thug who beats up
little old ladies
is sentenced to
five years of
cleaning subway bathrooms

and those places never stay clean
for more than ten minutes

it beats anything 
in Dante's Inferno

or how about
some white collar criminal
who converted
 pension plans
into a beach front mansion
in Saint Kitts and Nevis?

he doesn't just get zonked
with cleaning subway bathrooms
but
is forced to be an ATTENDANT
in subway bathrooms
wearing a white coat
and carrying a whisk broom

with that kind of
retribution
hanging over their heads
you can bet dollars
to Duncan Yo-Yos
 that crooks will not only
turn over a new leaf
but uproot 
the whole darn 
tree

And after this manner of language had my mother complained against my father.


And after this manner of language had my mother complained against my father.
First Nephi. Chapter Five. Verse 3.


Complaining
shows a lack of faith
yet
also shows I'm human

Circumscribed
by mortal fears
while
stretching into the dark

Lashing
out at loved ones
when
the light grows dim within

Pleading
for new batteries
from
He who has no sin

Resolving
to think better
and
stay quiet when in doubt

Rejoicing
when my dread departs
replaced
by confidence reborn


03/27/2019

Wednesday

Up at 4, thinking of lasagne. So I made a small one, using Barilla Alfredo sauce instead of red tomato sauce. Naturally, I put anchovies in it along with the hamburger.

My fungus/yeast rash is gone from my belly, but the rest of my torso is still tortured by some kind of rash -- so I play nudist at night, and I made the lasagne this morning al fresco -- except for an apron. I have a sign on my door reading:  Warning: An active Nudist lives here!”  It seems to stop most inconsequential visits. Although the old lady Bernie keeps coming by to give me sacks of jigsaw puzzles -- she saw Sarah and the kids one day a few weeks ago and ever since has to bring by all her hand-me-downs for them. Well-meant, of course -- but the puzzles are in plastic bags, and who knows if all the pieces are there or not. So I just stuff ‘em in my garbage sack when I go out to the dumpster.

Madel offered to let me use her Netflix account, so I can cancel mine to save a few dollars each month. What a sweetheart! I just called Netflix customer service to cancel and by golly they didn’t give me any run-around at all -- it was all done in less than a minute. My account will close on April 17th.

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Password Passions



Streaming music and video services that permit multiple users, plus the proliferation of family cellphone plans in recent years that are cheaper than individual accounts, have created ties that bind long after a breakup or even divorce.
WSJ

hey this is Tim
from the vasty beyond
remember when I died
last year?

you were supposed to cancel
our phone plan
and our Netflix
and that cheese of the month
thingy

but I'm still getting billed for them
oh yeah -- they have bill collectors
here
which gives you some idea
where I'm at

nobody wears pants here
nobody has any plastic
and my bitcoin account
is hacked

so do me a favor
for the sake of past ardor
call customer service
and put everything in your name
K?

cuz I can come back to haunt you

in the body of Jussie Smollett