Verses from Headlines in the Washington Post * A woman has been in a coma for weeks after using mercury-tainted skin cream * Dangerous new hot zones are spreading around the world * iPhone 11 first look: That’s an awful lot of cash for a camera * Supreme Court says Trump administration can begin denying asylum to migrants while legal fight continues

I've never thought it very wise

to spread much goo around my eyes.

To battle wrinkles, moles, and skin

that's scaly, I just like to grin.

A smile makes ugly faces shine,

even one as raw as mine.

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Have you heard the latest scoop?

Earth is boiling like bean soup!

Hot spots ev'rywhere appear,

drying lakes and roasting deer.

Cities have become the haunt

of mirages, faint and gaunt.

So it's easy now to tell

that the earth has gone to hell.

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I am done with modern tech,

cuz my budget is a wreck.

When I want to buy a phone

I negotiate a loan.

And the cost of my wifi

has just really gone sky high.

Analog, I'm coming back

to your world without a hack.

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This land of opportunity for victims and the poor

has been hijacked by hoodlums who are slamming the front door.

The welcome wagon has been towed, barbed wire sales expand,

as feeble-minded partisans 'protect' the fatherland.

There's nothing now preventing selfish motives from success;

America the beautiful has decided to regress.

The honest hand of fellowship extends an inch or two,

but after that the immigrant will find it's jujitsu.