Verses from Stories in Today's Washington Post -- A steamy chat distracted an officer when she entered the wrong apartment and killed a man, prosecutors say -- A masterpiece hung above a woman’s hot plate for years. It could be worth millions. -- An acclaimed French chef is suing over a lost Michelin star. It all started with a cheesy allegation..

Let this cop's sad story be

part of our stored memory.

She was so consumed by lust

she became a bit nonplussed,

and distracted by the gloom

she did enter the wrong room.

When she saw a man inside,

she let loose -- the man, he died.

Sex with guns, if I may preach,

ought to stay out of our reach.

@britsham

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I wonder if that painting from the thrift store that I bought

is actually a Rembrandt that is really worth a lot.

Could it be that Claude Monet designed my coffee mug?

Jackson Pollock, I am sure, conceived my bedroom rug!

Oh, I am rich, so very rich, with all these artsy things,

that I am gonna start to wear top hats and diamond rings.

Appraisers, come and gaze in wonder at my miscellany --

then start the bidding at a million with a rich Bahraini!

@ReisThebault

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I haven't lost a single star from my own cooking shack.

Of course, it ain't too elegant and we don't serve cognac.

I open up a can of beans, add ketchup and hot sauce,

and come up with a dish that all my customers call 'boss.'

I give 'em lots of crackers to soak up the tallow grease,

and let 'em chow down all they want until they grow obese.

The secret to good cooking, as all French chefs ought to know,

is get your meat from Hormel and your spuds from Idaho!

@bellwak

"Social media is a bunch of jiggery-pokery!"