Rhymes from Stories in Today's Washington Post -- A man jumped from the bushes for a birthday surprise. His startled father-in-law fatally shot him. -- A teen pretended to be a cop. A real cop hauled him away. -- Trump takes vulgar swipe at Romney after senator criticizes president’s China, Ukraine appeals.

When jumping from bushes beware

your father-in-law you don't scare.

He might have a rod,

and send you to God,

without enough chance to prepare!

@britsham

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There was a young man who did flop

when he tried to work as a cop.

An officer real

ignored his appeal

and tossed him into a sweatshop.

@lateshiabeachum

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When presidents want to be crude

they pick on an LDS prude.

So Romney gets cursed

by Trump at his worst --

knowing he'll never be sued.

@ColbyItkowitz

"There must be better ways to kill time . . . "