Verses from Stories in Today's Washington Post -- He was acting drunk but swore he was sober. Turns out his stomach was brewing its own beer. -- A hunter was fatally gored by the deer he thought he killed, officials say -- Rats are capable of driving tiny cars, researchers found. It eases their anxiety.

"How dry I am" the stomach cries,

and so creates a big surprise.

It manufactures its own booze,

which complicates the daily cruise.

So if a cop pulls you aside,

just say "It's auto-brewery, Clyde!"

@marisa_iati

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Beware of hunting deer that fake

their demise, so they can take

a swipe at you with antlers sharp --

and send you off to play the harp.

@TheArtist_MBS

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It's a rat race out there, folks --

and I ain't just a-tellin' jokes.

In tiny cars the rodents swerve

around our feet and take a curve

at eighty-plus, and when they crash

they make Allstate pay out in cash.

@lateshiabeachum