harvey brown was a jolly and tubby little man, built along the lines of Kris Kringle. he was also our mission president in thailand after president morris was released. he'd had a long successful career with the state department before retiring. i don't believe he'd ever been stationed in thailand or, for that matter, knew anything about the country at all. as he told me the first time i met him: "elder torkildson, i'm just fat, dumb, and happy -- call me harvey the hugger!'
well, i never did call him that but i came to appreciate his good humor early on. he loved to hear stories about my experience with ringling bros circus, and whenever i had an interview with him the apes (assistants to the president) would admonish me beforehand that he was a busy man and couldn't spare me more than ten minutes. those ten minutes as often as not turned into an hour, with me telling him about how the clown car worked or my monumental fight with michu the world's smallest man.
harvey the hugger encouraged us elders and sisters to come up with new ways and means to garner good PR for the church in thailand. that was the purpose of my clown shows, and the singing group.
"think big!" he'd exhort us. "come see me with any idea at any time -- my door is always open!" and indeed it was -- but behind that jolly exterior was a stone cold pragmatist.
"what's in it for us?" he'd always ask, after some elder had explained his hare-brained scheme. there were a lot of organizations and companies that wanted a tie-in with the church, because they knew it was a rich world-wide operation, and they expected to leech off of it for their own benefit. but unless there was some concrete benefit to the church, president brown always gave these schemes the thumbs down.
one idea finally met with his approval. i no longer remember who came up with the idea. it was called "run for your life." Or 'wing phua chiwid.'
it was inspired, i guess, by all the old chinese men and women who spent their early mornings exercising in the park, going through a series of slow motion movements that allegedly improved everything from their mental capacities to their sex life. it was noticed that more and more young men, and women, were joining in with these tai chi groups in the park. so let's horn in on this trend to grab some free PR for the church! seemed to be the general idea.
pamphlets were printed up, showing a grinning group of thais jogging along a hibiscus-strewn path, and extolling the virtues of a good morning run each day. the whole concept is contained in the book 'aerobics' by a us air force doctor. we all were given copies of the book to read and told to start inviting men and women to come out at 5 in the ever lovin' morning to join us for a jog down the local soi.
it wasn't a bad idea. we got to wear bright yellow t-shirts, labeled with 'wing phua chiwid' which literally means run for life.
it wasn't a bad idea, but it wasn't something my body liked to do. at the time elder terry, from snowflake, arizona, was my companion, and he was a little dynamo. he could run all morning and not feel a thing. after about six blocks i would be left behind panting and developing shin splints. but we kept up with the program for several months. until word came from salt lake to phase it out. so we did.
seems like the mission office never got any good news from salt lake. whenever the apes said there was word from salt lake we prepared for the worst.
just before my mission was up president brown called me into his office to ask if i would like to serve an extra four months in thailand. he thought he could pull some strings to have it happen. would i!? i would have loved that. but word came from salt lake, and, in fact, i even got a letter from the church missionary committee, stating firmly that once my 24 month were up they were up and no one single day more would be added to my time serving as a missionary. It was time to return home, resume my education, and find a good and proper wife to marry. End of story.
i was with elder terry when another missive came from salt lake -- disband the singing group and get rid of the clown. so i was sent to knon kaen as the branch president. my companion was elder day. that lasted two months, during which time president brown worked his wiles on salt lake and had the ban on the singing group and on my clowning lifted. so i was brought back to bangkok, and never left its environs again. and i never had to run another step, either, for wing phua chiwid. although i kept the aerobics paperback with me when i returned home and back to the circus. my good old pal tim holst and i tried to run aerobically each day between shows. but it got too hard for me to take off my makeup and put it back on in time to make come in for the second show.
hey, wasn't i supposed to tell you guys about my crush on sister mumford in this episode? oh well, it'll keep.
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