Moving Advertising for 'Poet for Hire.'

 

so, for those of you following my 'poet for hire' strategy, the donut giveaway was a bust.  one young couple stopped for donuts, asked what i was doing, so i gave them my business card.  and that was it.  nothing else happened.  so amy and i ate the rest of the donuts.  the best way to eat a stale donut is to nuke it in the microwave for 12 seconds. oh yeah, i started the idea as a chicken salad giveaway -- me with a sign that said 'free chicken salad.'  but i didn't want to hassled with bowls and spoons and sloppy chicken salad. so i switched to donuts.  stale donuts.  2 dozen for three dollars.

today i decided to step up my poet for hire game by taking my sign out onto State Street, right next to the Fresh Market corner where the traffic turns to go to the airport.

it was hot and windy and i didn't get any money or work.  but here's what DID happen:

 first a 12 year old girl came up to me to ask: "what are you doing?'  

i said:  'i write poetry for money.'

'that's weird' she said and walked away.

then a young man with light brown hair and beard, wearing a dirty black t-shirt, demanded:  'do you know me?'

'nope' i said.

'i'm the town punching bag' he replied proudly.

'you want me to punch you?' i asked him politely. as he walked away he said 'good luck -- i hope they treat you better than me.'

i didn't have time to puzzle that out before a kindly woman said to me: 'i don't have any money, but here's a rice krispy treat.'  i accepted it gratefully.  then she said: 'my grandfather had a favorite poem. this is how it went --

'the higher up the mountain slope the greener grows the grass.'

'and down it cam a billy goat, sliding on its overcoat.'

i told her that was a very nice poem and i might steal it someday.

a few minutes later another kindly lady came up to me with a slim jim and a bag of doritos.  she also had written the address of a homeless shelter where i could stay for the night. when i told her i had an apartment and social security and was just holding the sign for kicks and giggles she started to walk away, taking the slim jim and doritos with her.

'wait a minute!' i said.  'i still want the snacks!'  so she left them with me.

by then my bladder informed me it was time to go home.

i think i'll go back to that corner tomorrow, but earlier before the sun gets hot.