Experiments in Collage. Vol. 26

 

Silly Sketches. Saturday. Sept 26

 

"Amy Coney Barrett Meets Congress!"

"I've been swallowing Trump's words for four years and haven't burst yet!"

"Just close your eyes, then kiss me, and your mail in ballot will magically appear!"

"This is your brain on Trump."  

"I won't go back to school until the lunch ladies wear masks over their entire face."

"The areas marked in green are those districts voting for John Galt."

Experiments in Collage. Vol. 25

 

Today's Timericks. Saturday Sept 26. 2020.

 

Wanted for pettifogging in ten states.

More Homes Are Going Dark as Moratoriums on Utility Shut-Offs End.  (WSJ)

Curse the darkness, since the light

is turned off till check I write.

They won't give a guy a break

when there ain't no work to take.

Sure, THEY need to make a buck --

but what about my rotten luck?

Portland Prepares for Violent Showdowns, Proud Boys and Tear Gas. (NYT)

When the Proud Boys come to town

they will never fool aroun',

but get down to brass tacks quick,

making people mighty sick.

Violence in cause of "truth"

is like drinking straight vermouth;

without any moderation

it can but cause nauseation.

Thousands of Proud Boys plan to rally in Portland, setting up another clash in a combustible city.  (WaPo)

Portland surely don't deserve

such an odious hors d'oeuvre

as the Proud Boys seem to be;

neo nazi lunacy!

Why cannot they too be sorted

by the Feds and then deported?

Silly Sketches. Friday, September 25.

 

"Wait'll you see how we dress up humans when CATS take over!"

"If Johnny coughs once and Suzy sneezes twice, how many days will they be in quarantine?"

"We don't believe in wearing masks -- but then, we have bird brains."

"Yeah, I'll be Trump's running mate -- when the Pope wears a yarmulke."

"I'm sitting on my Xbox."

Timericks from today's news.

 

What a handsome devil!

U.S. Stock Futures Point to Fourth Week of Declines.  (WSJ)

How do you write about stocks ev'ry day?

Don't it get boring and make your mind stray?

They either go up or else they decline;

whatever they do, they're duller than brine.

The numbers must cluster around your poor head

like midges in summer, and fill you with dread.

If I were a writer who tracked stocks and bonds

I'd go on a toot with a couple of blondes! 

Defense Department officials said top generals could resign if Mr. Trump ordered the active-duty military into the streets to quell election protests.  (NYT)

When the time comes that Trump stoops

to unleashing our own troops

on the voters of this land

the Pentagon may take a hand

in sending that agenda hound

off to Gitmo's dank compound.

Millions have watched TikTokers file their own teeth. Now, two of these DIY dentists say: Don’t try it.

Like seagulls to a garbage scow,

folks must flock to TikTok now.

They learn how to file their teeth

and to feed their children heath.

Instead of such trash unremitting,

why can't people take up knitting?

Beyond Meat’s Pitch for More Customers: It’s Not Just Good for the Planet, It’s Also Good for You.

If plant protein is good for me I'd rather never know it.

I prefer the real McCoy, with double chins that show it.

The roast or chop presides at meals; my verdict there is final.

Away with salads and tofu -- to me they taste like vinyl!

Putin Wants a Truce in Cyberspace — While Denying Russian Interference.  (NYT)

The Russian bear don't easy scare,

but when he thinks of Biden

he puts his cyber punks away

and sends 'em into hidin'.

To him our Trump is just a chump,

a weakling he is ridin';

But Putin sings a diff'rent tune

when he deals with Joe Biden.

Police are using the law to deny the release of records involving use of force, critics claim. (WaPo)

Tyrants and their minions embrace love of secrecy.

They never like to open up their files to you or me.

What are they concealing with their stubborn smoke and mirrors --

do they fear the judgement of their neighbors and their peers?

Experiments in Collage. Vol. 24

 

Into the top of the mountain

 

I'll hunt at the top of the mountains,

for that which is highest of all;

to capture a moment of heaven,

above Father Adam's great fall.

But if I should stumble & falter,

attempting to scale the far heights,

grant me thy grace and thy pardon --

Redeemer & Father of Lights!

Timericks from today's news.

 

are my dimples showing?

Republicans Commit to Peaceful Transfer of Power After Trump Declines to Do So.

Sore losers have no place to stay

here in the good old U.S.A.

If Trump won't give up his Big Chair

he'll be yanked out by his gold hair.

And Mitch and Marco will make sure

he leaves with nothing but manure.

Few Police Officers Who Cause Deaths Are Charged or Convicted.

Oh, someday I would like to cadge

a contable's large shiny badge.

Then I would swagger round the block

and give out with a taser shock.

And if somebody had to die

while sacred duty I did ply,

the judge and jury would decide

to treat me like a blushing bride.

Despite Trump’s actions against immigrants, these Latino voters want four more years.

To lick the hand that slaps you --

that is more than I can see.

When someone tries to stab you

there's no cause for loyalty.

Agendas too myopic have caused misery before --

poultry cannot ever trust a canting carnivore.

Silly Sketches. Thursday, September 24

 

"I don't know what my followers will do if Biden wins . . . "

"Whew! I finally got my stimulus check!"

"Sorry, guys; I thought she  was a Confederate statue."

"O, if only the Masked Singer would start tonight . . . "

"Don't worry -- I'm just gonna test you for COVID-19."

"Why hasn't QAnon gotten around to making things up about ME yet?"

"Elon Musk wanted to raise the price, but I said no."

"Who gave the bookworms helium?"