Tim Torkildson's Clown Alley

Thursday, October 22, 2020

Those who repent are the covenant people of the Lord

Keep your promises to be

blessed for all eternity.

Race or creed or Good Book learnin'

ain't enough to keep from burnin'!

Today's timericks.

COVID-19 vaccines ain't invented yet at all/but people seem to think we'll have one later on this fall/is it optimism that has fueled this fairy tale/or is it something in the air that citizens inhale?

If Biden wins the White House/the transition may be rough/Trump has indicated/that he won't be a cream puff/If I were Mr. Biden/I don't think that I would test/Trump's goodwill without the wearing/of a Kevlar vest.

Congress isn't happy unless some poor CEO/is waiting in the lobby for a grilling, dontcha know/Common folk are poison to their PR aspirations/since lobbyists are snobs and won't give out with the donations.

I wish they had a testing kit that told me when in-laws/were about to drop in and start yakking without pause/or indicated that a landlord's words were only bluff/They should get Alexa to perform that kind of stuff.

The mute button in use tonight/should keep the controversy light/But if I know our sneaky Chief/it will not give us much relief/He'll have the FBI bypass/the circuitry and start to gas/Iran can't lead us more astray/than Donald Trump does anyway!

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Lord, how is it done?

"Lord, how is it done?" I asked in amaze;

my sins no more scathing me like a fierce blaze.

The Savior then told me what all men will know;

from His blood alone all forgiveness must flow.

The Deep State.

There's more things in both Earth and Hell

than mere philosophy can tell.

The Internet has set us free

with liberating fantasy!

Reality's beside the pale;

it's like a monkey reading braille.

Our media, so poorly run,

gives mountebanks a lot of fun.

Constraints and good taste disappear;

it's all out war (and with good cheer.)

All Democrats eat babies raw.

And segregation need not thaw.

A license not to wear a mask

is all some people ever ask.

Yes, readfakes tell us black is white

and laundered narratives backbite.

Grim ANTIFA has run amok;

it's like a cyber garbage truck.

The Russians and the Chinese fix

our own elections with their tricks;

but we prefer to think 'Deep State'

all of our rights will abrogate.

Our leaders try to use this fiend

but only get their thick clock cleaned.

Then QAnon gets in the act,

and warps the truth and rapes the fact.

But do we care or do we chafe?

We just go on like all is safe.

Integrity has been debunked

and honesty the test has flunked.

We want big chiefs who do not grow

but give a better raree show.

It's bread and circus time again,

and we're all in a big play pen.

The only hope that I can see

is lie detectors constantly.

Cuz otherwise the real McCoy

will just remain a whipping boy.

Today's Timericks. (Dedicated to the memory of Kevin Bickford.)

I gotta have more vitamins; I'm feeling mighty poor/I'll gulp 'em all, from A to Z, my sparkle to restore/I'd rather have a vitamin than hamburger and fries/so I can live to see another COVID-lit sunrise.

The President wants Biden tarred and feathered right away/and so he's pushing Barr to find the means and nasty way/to indict the candidate and sling a little crap/hoping some will stick so Biden loses in a snap.

I'm lovin' all my neighbors, no matter how they vote/After the election, I'll neither sulk nor gloat/I value their affection, and hope they feel the same/Together we will work hard the Canadians to blame.

Mitch McConnell is so mean/he'd step on a jelly bean/He's so stingy that he'd vote/Noah be denied raincoat/Something soured him for good/his heart is made up of driftwood.

Now I hear that belching cows/cause the atmosphere to rouse/and that feedlots with their stink/put us on a climate brink/Let's raise crickets now instead/so we don't all wind up dead.

It ain't a good idear, my friend/an interview to rudely end/when it is Sixty Minutes that/you treat like loathsome forest scat/Trump's wits sure have gone AWOL/when he disses Lesley Stahl.

In the green state Tennessee/voting is sheer lunacy/If you wear the wrong t-shirt/you are treated just like dirt/Better cast your ballot nude/so the judges won't be rude.

The wide open spaces are calling to me/Escaping the virus is priority/I figure those cowpokes in Bozeman don't cotton/to anything that makes a body feel rotten/I'll buy me a ranch and raise sagebrush, you bet/riding the range on my trusty baguette.

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Torku: 赤の色

scientific explanations

for the color red

are partisan

sadly

科学的説明
赤の場合
パーティザンです
悲しいことに

a leaf inclines to red

blushing at the thought

of winter

zut!

葉が赤く傾く考えに赤面冬の

a modest red

uselessly shy

what a juiceless

waste!

控えめな赤無駄に恥ずかしがり屋なんてジュースレス廃棄物！

Today's Timericks.

Ev'rybody's getting frantic/seeing Google get gigantic/So an antitrust lawsuit/now is bearing awful fruit/But don't worry; Google will/simply buy up Capitol Hill.

Russian hackers in our hair/they are hacking ev'rywhere/In elections, power grids/even games for little kids/They are worse than in-law's snout/cuz you cannot kick them out/I guess I will go off-line/and mail letters asinine.

China has a new vaccine/doesn't work, but they are keen/to stick students on their way/to the good old USA/So if you begin to sneeze/blame those pushy darn Chinese.

Where ya gonna get the newz/now that newspapers do snooze/Partisans have set up press/to give you pure watercress/If you want the old reporting/Brit newspapers start importing.

Lawmakers are used to prying/barging in to start the frying/but the USPS keeps/them from any nosy peeps/They don't want the world to know/they invented the first 'slow.'

When my fingernails I paint/I know sanity is faint/next I'll dye my hair bright pink/and with kohl my eyes I'll ink/call them fashion trends, but we/really know they're lunacy.

If you really want to learn/why our diplomats all yearn/to return back home right quick/it's because they're getting sick/foreign poisons introduced/to give terrorists a boost/Envoys better watch their step/or they'll get a super strep!

If you're sitting on the fence/you don't have a good defence/You are wishy washy, mate/VOTE, and don't procrastinate/VOTE: your wooden fence this winter/will but give you a large splinter!