What do people want in their religion nowadays?
What will keep them coming back to church with eyes ablaze?
Is there any way a pastor can beguile his flock
so away from worship they don't inattentive walk?
Ditch the Ten Commandments, first -- they're very inconvenient.
People want a God of love, one who's very lenient.
Serve the sacramental wine in barrels to the crowd,
til they've raised their voices in a worship hymn quite loud.
Follow all the latest news and fads and trends, to copy;
sticking to the strait and narrow is considered soppy.
Do not mention Hell or any punishment divine;
that will only make the little children want to whine.
Make Deity as mundane as a corndog on a stick;
no more mighty miracles or healing of the sick.
Once you've turned religion into nothing but a sop
the stampede to your church will surely need a traffic cop!
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