Wednesday, October 18, 2017

I wanna be a member of a secret order, please -- so I can be initiated till my pants I pees


From the NYTimes:
ALBANY — Last March, five women gathered in a home near here to enter a secret sisterhood they were told was created to empower women.
     The women, in their 30s and 40s, belonged to a self-help organization called Nxivm, which is based in Albany and has chapters across the country, Canada and Mexico.
     Sarah Edmondson, one of the participants, said she had been told she would get a small tattoo as part of the initiation. But she was not prepared for what came next.
     A female doctor proceeded to use a cauterizing device to sear a two-inch-square symbol below each woman’s hip, a procedure that took 20 to 30 minutes. For hours, muffled screams and the smell of burning tissue filled the room.


I wanna be a member of a secret order, so
I can be trussed up and cauterized real nice and slow.
For only through much suffering can men and women gain
Access to the knowledge that real life is such a pain.

And when I am a member I will know the secret signs,
The passwords and the symbols and the mascot porcupines.
It makes me feel so powerful, this gnostic camouflage,
That I’ll embrace their doctrine though it sounds a bit hodgepodge.

Of course if I go spill the beans I know the high command
Will have me tarred and feathered, then my fanny will be tanned.
But why would I betray a group that does me so much good?

(When I get all my dues paid off they’ll let me wear a hood!)

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