CANTO THIRTEEN. SONNY PERDUE.
Whilst traveling through Europe, talking agriculture stuff,
Sonny of Bonaire was met with prejudices gruff.
The European Union told him they would rather starve
Than into US chicken ever stick a knife to carve.
Our chickens, drenched in chlorine and with altered DNA,
Were deadlier than cyanide and must be kept at bay.
In fact the tillers of the soil back in the USA
Grew nothing except poison that would kill you right away.
Sonny of Bonaire became enraged at such great slander.
And Ares, god of war, just kept on cranking up his dander --
Until, upon returning to America in haste,
He decided Europe now deserved to be laid waste.
Using drones and missiles, Sonny madly sent abroad
Corn syrup bombs and allergens inside the green pea pod.
Radishes with road rage were unleashed on France and Spain;
And chicken feet marched into Rome, which caused a lot of pain.
Soybeans with DNA that made them go psychotic
Were introduced to parliaments, where they became despotic.
Carcasses of beef and pork, with zombie germs endowed,
Spread across the countryside of Europe like a cloud.
As a final stroke, atomic cornstalks fell upon
The Netherlands and then were aimed at ostentatious Bonn.
Even NATO could not stem the tide of GMO’s
That threatened all of Europe and that withered ev’ry rose.
Sonny of Bonaire went back in triumph to those folk
Who had treated US produce as a nasty joke.
As Emperor Perdue the First he now rules placidly
Over ruins and toxic wastes where famine sits with glee.
(to be continued)
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