I declare a crisis when I misplace my car keys.
And it's cataclysmic whenever I must sneeze.
There's no hope for America if my toast comes up cold.
It's time to hit the trenches if the Wonder Bread has mold!
A national emergency is easy to prepare;
it's anything that really gets into Trump's gold blonde hair.
And so I think that all of us a crisis should reveal
whenever life has given us a terrible misdeal.
If you order pizza and the crust comes out too hard,
it's time to sound a gong that will raise up the National Guard.
A pothole in the neighborhood is clearly a disaster
that ought to cause impeachment of the nearest burgomaster.
Of course when it's a matter like the warming of the globe
or finding a vaccine for some resistant old microbe,
that isn't an emergency -- it's as bogus as can be;
and ought to be ignored as just a piece of flummery.
Emergencies are handy for the skirting of the laws
that keep the Oval Office from extending its sharp claws.
Hey Trump, send me some money for my crisis here today;
I wanna buy a gun to keep the Communists away.
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