Jason Horowitz was born with the sense that the world is ham on rye.
During a tempestuous career that has spanned everything from Chautauqua to chinquapin-collector, Mr. Horowitz remains true to his personal mantra: "Slice it thick and pile it high!" Such a man is not to be trifled with.
He was born and raised. Of this we are certain. He went to college. This, too, has been ascertained to be true. He collects antique Horlicks containers. That is completely made up, but it has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?
An expat in Italy for many years, Mr. Horowitz has filed reports on the Pope's Nose; the Lean Tower of Pisa now on a keto diet; pizza bagels; and the Lucretia Borgia Cooking School for Disgruntled Spouses. His work has garnered him standing invitations to Sicilian salt mines and Venetian blinds. He is a frequent guest of the Italian Prime Minister, provided he gets to the party before a new Prime Minister is installed.
Prior to working in Italy, Mr. Horowitz wrote about politics and how to milk a cumulus cloud via blockchain. He holds the record for the number of egg creams consumed in one day at Coney Island.
His last known residence was a phone booth in the Bronx. And he never files his nails, preferring to donate them to charity instead.
His advice to new journalists is simple and direct: "Never talk through your hat or pay through the nose."
He plays the gramophone in the Charles Ives Town Band, in Danbury, Connecticut.
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