(thanks to Jim Carlton)
If I had lots of moolah I can tell you what I'd do;
I'd make our cities livable, not smelling like a zoo.
The flowers and the bushes would be planted with panache;
I'd put in lots of sweet peas and a bit of Hubbard squash.
Pushcarts full of candy and selections of ripe cheese
are offered up for gratis midst the oyster cracker trees.
The parks would have no benches; only sofas by the score,
where any weary citizen could lay right down and snore.
The cops would be required to flip pizza dough all day,
then bake it in big ovens and just give it all away.
The jails would be repurposed for a video arcade,
and crooks and judges made to offer lawyers marmalade.
Cats and dogs and pigs and goats, plus sometimes an iguana,
would all be shipped off to a farm down south in Tijuana.
Anchovies would swim upstream and unpolluted air
would support box kites while birds played online solitaire.
There's be no condos to fall down, or busy four lane streets;
everyone would ride a bike and look like buff athletes.
If any money still remained I would invest in pearls
and send 'em all to Bangkok for the pretty Thailand girls!
