Restaurant Review: Nu Skin's 'The Spoon'. Provo, Utah.

To paraphrase Lincoln Steffens, "I have seen the future of restaurants, and it is Nu Skin."

Their weirdly-shaped headquarters on Center Street melds with the new LDS City Center Temple next to it to create a mildly hallucinatory sensation in the hungry stroller.

The Spoon is in a vast hallway, where this day an army of employees is wheeling gaily wrapped presents to and fro on dollies to stoke the numerous giant Christmas trees that rear up three stories.

As I gaze about at the industrial Holiday decorations I wonder what would happen if companies like Nu Skin ran out of poor people to give presents to at Christmas time. Corporations love to find poor families to load with toys and warm coats and turkeys -- it gives their accountants a warm and fuzzy feeling in their ledgers. But supposing the world suddenly did right by everyone and grinding poverty disappeared like the dodo; companies would have to do something with all that excess cash they mulct from consumers. Maybe they would invest in the next flight to Mars. But I guess that's not a realistic worry. As it says in Mathew 26:11 -- "For ye have the poor always with you . . . "  I personally have dedicated my life to poverty, and certainly would resent suddenly having to put on the bourgeoisie straight jacket if I finally succeeded at my chosen profession of limerick mongering.

You don't place your order with a live person; you do it on a computer screen. And pay for it by sliding your card through like any convenience store. This is the future of food service. It's fast and impersonal and nobody has to smile at anybody or remember names or worry about a tip. No wonder George Jetson was such a happy guy.

I punched in an order for the 3 egg omelet with bacon and spinach, and a side of 2-potato hash browns. Fountain drinks are free, but funky -- featuring such things as sugarless lemonade with basil, and peach tea. It cost $7.86. The portions are not huge, but it's all well-constructed.
I give the place Three Burps. This is where you want to take your out of town friends and family to impress the heck out of them. Especially if they live in some big snobby city like Chicago or Los Angeles -- this place will take the wind out of their sails.