The scallop sees with space age eyes -- hundreds of them
The scallop sees with space age eyes
And what it sees is no surprise --
Plastic on the ocean floor,
Oil spills common more and more.
Had I the eyes this bivalve bears,
I’d shut ‘em tight and say my prayers!
Pollution stops play at Delhi Test match as bowlers struggle to breathe
There was a young bowler at Delhi
Who found he got sick to his belly.
When breathing the air
He lost all his hair;
his legs turned to apricot jelly!
Steve Madden’s shoe obsession cost him his marriage
She married a man who thought pumps
Would keep him from down in the dumps.
His fetish with shoes
With hate made her ooze --
Her lawyer gave him some good lumps. His Tattoo Said ‘Do Not Resuscitate.’ Doctors Wanted Another Opinion.
Directions, when done in tattoo,
Raise questions about what to do.
If upon my arm
Is writ “Funny Farm,”
Will they haul me off to Bellevue?
US military agency invests $100m in genetic extinction technologies
The Pentagon wants you to know
That they can destroy at one blow
All life here on earth,
And terminate birth --
If Congress will give them the dough.
America's response to school massacres? A booming classroom security industry
The teachers are loaded for bear.
The students have tasers -- beware!
A stranger who peeks
Through doors will get leaks
Throughout his dead carcass -- so there!
Google Pulls YouTube From Amazon Devices, Saying It Isn’t Playing Fair
When Google said Facebook was not playing fair,
Facebook grabbed Google and pulled out its’ hair.
Then Google retorted by drafting a thug
To corner poor Facebook and pull out its’ plug.
The next round was held in a dignified court,
Where lawyers did jabber and blithely cavort.
They knew that such lawsuits could last many years,
And make them much richer than all of their peers.
But Google and Facebook had too much at stake
In soaking their customers like a sponge cake --
They kissed and made up, and renounced all their vices;
They’re working together to raise all their prices.
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