Trent Franks, Accused of Offering $5 Million to Impregnate an Aide, Abruptly Resigns
A lawmaker said to his aide
“My dear, you’re a comely young maid.
I would be happy
To be a new pappy --
And you would be very well paid."
Actually, You Do Want to Know How This Italian Sausage Gets Made
A heedless young man of Verona
In curing shed smoked a corona.
The sausage turned green
From his nicotine --
He’s now a non grata persona.
Trump Hails Civil Rights ‘Heroes’ in Speech Some Black Leaders Boycotted
If you have a building to clear,
This news ought to bring you great cheer:
Have Trump give a talk,
And people will balk
At staying unless there’s free beer.
How Amazon Picks Its Seemingly Random Deals of the Day
I never intended to buy
A thing from that Amazon sly --
It must be black art,
Cuz my shopping cart
Fills faster than Nixon could lie.
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