Plastics and papers from dozens of American cities and towns are being dumped in landfills after China stopped recycling most “foreign" garbage. NYT
Oh, we sent our trash to China but they didn’t want the mess.
They told us they were sorry, but they’re planting watercress.
Our dirty rags and paper were too filthy for their taste,
So we’d have to find another dump to take our poison waste.
We sailed the seven oceans looking for another hole,
But no one could we threaten, bribe, or smilingly cajole.
The nations turned their backs on us, refusing Uncle Sam --
We were in a pickle, not to say a rotten jam!
When nobody was looking, all our garbage ships released
Their stinking cargoes in far waters that were not policed.
But Neptune came up foaming, wroth as only gods can be,
To send our garbage sailors back unto our own country.
And so the rubbish piled up in our cities and our lanes,
Until we shipped it all out to the desolate Great Plains.
The prairie dogs expired and the wheat fields wouldn’t grow.
Our garbage tainted ev’rything from trees to buffalo.
We shot it into space so Mars would have to clean the dreck;
The Martians sent it back again, and boycotted Star Trek.
We burned it, churned it, turned it into soylent green to eat;
But even hippie vegans did not find it such a treat.
Finally, we shrunk it with atomic accelerator --
Creating antimatter (and a freaking big ol’ crater.)
And now the world is pure again; the clouds go drifting by.
Of course, mankind no longer grows up more than two foot high . . .
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