The baby wearing a “CNN Sucks!” pin pretty much summed it up.
NYT
Reporters had better beware.
We're ready to give them the air.
They only detail
the national fail --
and do it with way too much flair.
School administrators consider the likelihood of a shooting real enough that some districts are buying active-shooter insurance. WSJ
Before my kids go back to class
I'll insure them 'gainst guns and gas.
I'll also invest
in bulletproof vest --
and maybe a helmet of brass.
The cost of pork overall in China has increased 10 percent since May, according to the Agriculture Ministry . . . the price of pig heads, tails and feet in the eastern province of Shandong jumped 7 percent from May to late July, due to American tariffs . . .
Washington Post
Just think of all those poor Chinese
who munched our trotters with such ease
but now because of trade war trials
can no longer show greasy smiles.
Their local swine have too much gristle,
making porkophiles all bristle.
Just think how badly you would feel
if bacon disappeared for real.
The pork barrels that Congress keeps
should go to China in great heaps
so they don't start in eating pumice
and come to take our piggies from us!
and come to take our piggies from us!
Cuz hangin' round the shoppin' malls, they always seem so rude.
A beggar always kills the buzz when shopping in SoHo --
their fashion statement is all wrong, and tacky, dontcha know.
When clubbing very heavily I cannot stand the sight
of immigrants in sweatshops who are working overnight.
If poor people got face-lifts that would make things very cool,
and maybe I'd invite them to a party at my pool.
But otherwise keep them away -- they are depressing, man;
they stand around on beaches and keep me from getting tan!
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