Young people don't realize how much hard work and preparation go into a good solid nap.
First you have to empty your bladder.
Then wash your hands for ten minutes.
Then put your phone on Silent.
Shut your laptop and put it in another room.
Check your pillow for death threat notes (or is that just me?)
Look under the bed for zombies.
Drink a small glass of cold milk with a cookie.
Wash your hands again.
Shake head back and forth vigorously to remove any dried ear wax.
Make sure there are no children within a fifty yard radius -- if there are, either bribe them with candy to leave the country, or shoot them.
Empty your bladder again.
Use up some more of that precious precious hand sanitizer that the stores are now out of.
But don't let that worry you as you sink blissfully onto your bed --
and start counting sheep . . .
or reasons why the world now owes you a living.
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