The civil war that pundits said was coming all along
Was not about religion, race, or weak against the strong.
Twas caused by plastic forks and spoons, and plastic bags adrift
Upon the land in such amounts that made some people miffed.
Each takeout order added to the trash that piled so steep
That mesas were created from the styrofoamic heap.
When city councils tried to stem the tide of plastic trash,
They were suborned by infusions of sub rosa cash.
And thus the vigilantes rode out in the dark of night
To torch the fast food franchises, and Holiday stores smite.
This in turn led lawmen to retaliate in kind;
Laying waste organic fields, with tree huggers confined.
This break in law and order swiftly sundered fam’ly ties;
Fathers fought against their sons on how to serve french fries.
Should they be inserted in a toxic plastic basket,
Or served up in an expensive organic bamboo casket?
Soon the country into chaos crazily descended,
And all the trash collection was immediately suspended.
While armies brawled across the land to save or crush the Whopper,
Our infrastructure, farms, and shops sadly came a cropper.
As soon as our poor country was brought down upon its knees,
We were infiltrated by the Russians and Chinese.
Now they run the government and make us all agree
To the use of styrofoam and lots of PVC.
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