Someone left old TVs outside 50 homes in Virginia while wearing a TV on his head. No one knows why. (WaPo)

Old television sets started dropping from the sky on August 15th, 2019, without any warning or explanation. The first attack lasted twelve hours and killed two million people.
NASA was able to use several satellites to pinpoint the source of the old tvs -- a mysterious oblong white lozenge that appears to vibrate at the rate of 12 million rtms prior to releasing the nonfunctioning television sets into the upper atmosphere, where the trade winds blow them helter skelter before they descend on an unsuspecting world.
So far all efforts to communicate with the lozenge have failed.
World leaders are scheduled to meet in the Marmalade Fields this coming Friday to map out a concerted plan of counter attack against the deadly television barrage. According to the Pentagon, most of the television sets are Magnavox brand.
The Dalai Lama has been quoted as saying "This plague is the karmic build up of three quarters of a century of watching the boob tube. We should all head for the hills."
In contrast, evangelist Jimmy Swaggart has told reporters "I believe that these antique television sets are a gift from God. We should receive them gratefully, and if any fall on a loved one we should consider that person as blessed."