“One out of every three gift recipients in the U.S. returned at least one gift item during the 2013 holiday season with the total dollars of returned gifts estimated at $262.4 billion (not including fraudulent returns),” Cohn writes. “This figure does not include unwanted gifts that are not returned but kept in a closet, regifted, sold, donated or thrown away.”
from the Washington Post
When giving me a gift, don't try
to please me with a silk necktie.
I never wear 'em, 'cept to church
(then hang 'em on the backyard birch).
A book on diet will be tossed
outside into the cold, cold frost;
yes, I know I'm overweight --
but you're a drunk, so cease to prate.
You think I'll like that cheap tick-tock?
It only shows you know your schlock.
Your box of candy is so stale
it's only fit for garbage pail.
No sweater, socks, or fountain pen
will ever make you my dear friend.
And gadgets for my laptop? Nix!
I'd rather have a muffin mix.
And if you try a fruitcake, mate,
you better wear a thick breastplate
because I'll throw it back so fast
you'll think it was a cannon blast.
A thoughtful gift would be so rare
that it would make me stop and stare.
Yet shopping for me isn't hard --
cuz all I want's a damn gift card!
No comments:
Post a Comment