Flattening the Curve

A patriot was Jim Bob Jones; he never saw the flag

without a very stiff salute and loyal urge to brag.

He loved his President so much he had his name tattooed

someplace upon his body that would insult any prude.

He carried many guns with him, to church and to the store;

he thought abortions only fit for immigrant and whore.

He loved to wander this great land in his Gulfstream RV,

so when he heard of 'stay-at-home' his mood turned fiery.

He marched in demonstrations that were very cheek by jowl;

he wanted ev'ry store unclosed, and said so with a howl.

This so-called virus was a plot by liberal blackguards

to take away the Constitution's sanctified safeguards.

But then one day he caught a cold, at least that's what he said,

and soon was in the hospital -- and sadly soon was dead.

Some call him a hero and some thought he was a perv,

but either way he did his part in flattening the curve.