Bachelors and Bread

As a dumb old bachelor I have so much stale bread

That if it didn’t start to smell I’d use it for my bed.

I only buy one loaf per week, but then go out to eat

So often that the lonely loaf turns into mucky peat.

I put some in the freezer but forget about it till

It freezer-burns to concrete and would blunt a diamond drill.

But sometimes only sandwiches at home can fill the void --

So if I’m lacking bread I start to cry or am annoyed.

I tried to keep a pig to eat my leavings with no pout --

But once it saw the mess I call my home it just moved out!