They’ll get out of sick beds to vote.
And do it most strictly by rote.
The split down the aisle
Is flowing with bile --
The AMA sits back to gloat.
WISCONSIN EMPLOYEES FLOCK TO HAVE MICROCHIPS INSTALLED UNDER THEIR SKIN
The day of the implant is here;
And there ain’t a thing you must fear.
Once you’ve got the chip
Inside of your lip
You’re tracked like a hunted down deer.
FAMILY HISTORY BECOMES BIG BUSINESS AS MILLIONS WONDER WHY GRANDPA HAD A WOODEN LEG
My ancestors gave me some genes
That show that they did not know beans
About lipid fats --
which sadly bears stats
That puts me far off from the leans.
SCIENTISTS CONTINUE TO STUDY BRAIN FREEZE ENIGMA AS SUMMER HEAT INCREASES THE URGE TO SPLURGE ON MORE TUTTI FRUTTI
I love the taste of ice cream, as it slides down past my throat --
What care I if it makes me look like a Macy’s float?
Choc’late or vanilla, or pistachio -- who cares?
I’ll gobble any kind you got -- in basement or upstairs.
But when that luscious goodie comes in contact with the roof
Of my mouth I start to tremble like a silly goof.
The brain freeze is so terrible I wish that I were dead --
Or better yet had been raised in Sahara’s waste instead.
For there they have no ice cream, just a sandburr pudding cup --
Wrapped in my burnoose, I could eat plenty of that up!
But since my fate lays here with Ben & Jerry, I’ll endure
The needles in my cranium until they find a cure.
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