11:51 a.m.
For those of you wondering what happened to chapters 14 through 23 I can only say that they were so erotic and scandalous that I posted them on a different blog site, a very discreet one. I didn't want my friends and family to read about that kind of stuff, but I felt compelled to put it down in writing somewhere, out of a sick, foolish vanity. Sort of a Frank Harris thing . . .
This morning at 3 there was a ruckus out on my patio. It might have been the wind blowing things around or it might have been a raccoon or it may even have been a prowler. As the photographs below show, nothing was missing:
While nosing about for clues as to the cause of the disturbance I noticed that several of the rocks I've put in my vinegar pool have begun chemically reacting. Two of them are slowly breaking down into a fine grey silt, and one of them has a ring of white lace around it, like frosting, thus:
I don't know the cause of this, except that obviously the acetic acid is reacting with the minerals in the rock to create the phenomenon. I'll spend some time later today out on the patio staring at this rock and wondering about it, but will probably never find out what exactly is happening. Still, it's a little bit of knowledge I have now that I didn't have before -- Joseph Smith said "A man is saved no faster than he gets knowledge." So I'm ahead of the game, anyway.
I have had several people comment on my vinegar pool, mostly wondering out loud why I am wasting my time and good vinegar on such a piece of balderdash. I waggle my eyebrows mysteriously at them and reply "Just wait for my research to be published in The Lancet."
Last night I read up on Hugh Herbert, the comic character actor that enlivened so many otherwise dreary movies back in the Thirties and Forties. When I was done with his Wikipedia article I idly clicked on Random Article in the left hand column just to see what I could see. After a few sea snails, soccer players, and train stations, I got Hikikomori -- a Japanese sociological term for the half million loners in the country who have turned their backs on society, refuse to marry, and become hermits, never leaving their rooms unless absolutely necessary and refusing to interact with the rest of the world.
According to Wikipedia, Japanese clinicians list the symptoms of being a Hikikomori as:
- Spending most of the day and nearly every day at home.
- Marked and persistent avoidance of social situations.
- Social withdrawal leading to an atrophy of socializing skills.
- A marked self complacency and satisfaction at becoming increasingly isolated.
- And no apparent mental or physical pathology to account for the social withdrawal symptoms.
As I brushed my teeth and put on my pajamas I said to myself "You, my boy, are certainly becoming a Hikikomori."
Looking back at last week I only went out 3 times at 5 a.m. to the Provo Recreation Center for swimming, and got back home before sunrise and without interacting with anyone. I had one doctor's appointment, during which I only spoke to the doctor and the nurse who took a blood sample. I never talked with or even said hello to anyone in my apartment building. And the only phone calls I got were robocalls. I emailed several people to tell them that I prefer to communicate by email, not by phone, since I am very stingy with my TracFone minutes. And I wrote two dozen poems and several pieces of personal memoir which I emailed to friends and family. I felt, and still feel, perfectly normal and not at all isolated or alone. Oh, and I watched the whole first season of DCs Legends of Tomorrow on Netflix.
So yes, I'd say on the Hikikomori Index I'm at about a 7.
5:10 p.m.
Just got off the phone with Sarah; I'm taking her and Brooke out tomorrow to Joe's Cafe in Orem for biscuits and gravy, and in return she's taking me to a health food store for a big nasty bottle of cod liver oil. I'm getting outlandishly desperate to stop my complete slide into an inert mass of flab. Both Amy and Madelaine are big believers in cod liver oil, so I'm gonna give it a try. What's the worst that can happen? I'll be out thirty dollars and have fish breath.
It may interest myself to know (and it does) that I am readjusting my Hikikomori Index rating to a 5. That's because I made a slow cooker full of beans today and served it in the lobby after Relief Society was over in the Community Room, and it was a smashing success. Several sisters pleaded for the recipe. I did not feel either superior or inferior to any of them and talked in a normal tone of voice about normal subjects -- broken hips and rotten children who never come to visit. I was a regular bon vivant. So those old Japanese hermits can go mow the lawn for all I care.
My friend in the Pacific emailed me today, wanting to know "How do you personally receive revelation or inspiration from Heaven?" He follows this question by narrating a dream he had, in which he felt inspired about something, but when he woke up he knew he didn't believe in inspiration so why did he dream that he did -- or some such folderol. I had trouble following his narrative thread, probably because I need a dose of cod liver oil. And probably because I can feel that incipient pettiness and meanness of spirit creeping up on me like it did on my mother when she got old and cranky. I'm tempted to copy his email and put it in here, with his name and his wife's name -- just to make him upset and unhappy. Now why in the hell should I do that? He has been a steady and generous friend who has helped me out numerous times over the years. When I complained about my laptop being on the fritz two years ago he sent me a Chromebook. He's always on the lookout for nubile Asian girls who want to hook up with a fat old white man like me. And yet here I am contemplating embarrassing him in front of . . . well, let's be honest, in front of dozens. (Nobody reads my blog anymore -- most of my readers are from someplace Blogspot calls "Unknown Region." The dark side of the Moon, no doubt.)
In answer to his question I have to admit that direct revelation and inspiration from Heaven, like in seeing an angel, has never happened to me. And it especially has not happened to me since I took the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory test 25 years ago. One of the questions in it was "Do you believe in angels?" As a matter of fact, I do. But when I answered yes to that question it was enough for my therapist to recommend I commit myself to the Utah State Hospital in Provo where a straitjacket and pablum three times a day would be provided free of charge. Luckily my bishop at the time got wind of this and rushed over to our house to stop me from signing the papers.
But on occasion I feel a deep welling confidence that I know comes from outside myself. It happened when the missionaries were teaching me down in Venice, Florida. It happened when I read Spencer W. Kimball's address "Every Young Man Should Serve a Mission." And it happened when I met Amy for the first time. And that is all I'm going to say about it, for now. As was said by others long before me, I was born ignorant and I've been losing ground ever since -- but every once in a while there's a divine spark kindled in me and around me. Only a young fool or an old liar can deny the reality of such things in their own lives. Might as well call it what it is -- revelation and/or inspiration.
Time to go stare at my vinegar pool before the sun goes dark behind the mountains . . .
My pen pal in Thailand responded to this chapter thus:
Dear Tim,
Sawaddii K.Tim. How was your sleep? Hope you are feeling alright this morning. Thanks again for your email on the truth and this Min Tull. 24.
It's nice to see the pictures of your patio. And its nice to live on the first floor. Atleast there is space to plant some flowers. With your bowl of vinegar pool experiment, to me its like your science project. And the reaction between the acetic acid and the reacting of the mineral in the rocks is like the work by the aliens. UFO hahaha!!! I'm kidding okay Tim. It looks interesting to see how it created a ring of white lace around it. I would keep an eye on to see if there will be more of the white laces or any more reaction from it. I have a question to ask you Tim. What did you planted in those square space? Let me know if you would like to plant some of the Thai vegetable. Morning Glory ผักบุ้งจีน is the easiest thing to grow. You can put in your Ramen Soup or Thai Sukiyaki or stir fry with Oyster sauce. It is really nutricious, lots of vitamins.
About the good sauce called Panthai Norasing, I mentioned last time. This is how you would pronouce it Pan taay norasing พันท้ายนรสิงห์ It is really yummy.
I enjoy reading about your Japanese Hikikomuri, Cod liver oil, and about revelation and inspiration from heaven. I wonder how do you like your Cod Liver Oil? I believe you will get so much of Omega 3 and lot of calciums.
These couple of days I have a cold. So I did not feel well to make it to church this Sunday. I have watched the General Conference through You Tube at home. Now I think my cold pills going to put me to sleep.
Tim I hope to hear from you soon. Hope your health is good to you. Please take good care of yourself. May God bless you. Bye.
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