Saturday, October 27, 2018

Reporter Mike Rosenwald of the Washington Post and the Saluki Conspiracy



Mild mannered reporter Mike Rosenwald of the Washington Post has an MFA from the University of Pittsburgh, where he became interested in the saluki conspiracy theory.

Mike wasn't always an obsessive and determined investigative reporter. He grew up in a small town in a small state with small expectations that were demolished when his maternal uncle was indicted for running an illicit hamster-juggling academy in Bemidji, Minnesota. The shame was too much for the Rosenwalds, so they changed their name to Skamfull -- everyone, that is, except Mike, who refused to give up his family's proud surname because of a crazy uncle. His noble action led indirectly to the Florida Marlins winning the World Series in 1997. 

An anonymous tip first led Mike to suspect that salukis were behind the outbreak of Tutmania in Great Britain during the 1920s, and his further research convinced him that salukis and so-called slughis have been in cahoots ever since to bring about a sinister New World Order. His manuscript articles on the subject have been publicly burned by The Economist, The New Yorker, the Boston Globe, and the Columbia Review of Journalism. His life has been overlooked on numerous occasions -- but he has declared that he will continue his investigation until every saluki in America is properly licensed and wormed. 

His other interests include the Japanese art of Hikaru Dorodango, or dirt polishing, and playing the crwth. 


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"I bet no one even knows it's a dog he's babbling about."

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