Prose Poem: The Breathing Act of 2021.

 

I'm proud to say I played a small part

in helping to pass The Breathing Act

of 2021.

Too many people are taking advantage of

our liberal and naive breathing policies.

Our forefathers fought for the right

to breathe, for the truth of "One Man, One

Breath!"

We can't let that sacred privilege go by

the boards by giving it away to every Tom,

Dick, and Harry that saunters into town

and demands a breath.

As of this coming May,

no longer can just anyone take a breath of fresh air;

you have to have a valid photo ID,

a birth certificate, a Social Security number,

and a zoning permit.

 Anyone caught breathing illegally

or fraudulently will see the inside of

the slammer pdq.

I know some soreheads complain

that if you can't breath you can't live.

Well, my answer to that is this --

stay and breathe in your own country,

why don't you?

Or if you're a felon hoping to breathe

again, you'd better keep your nose clean

and your hands dirty with good honest

labor -- no living off of welfare.

Then, and only then,

will you be allowed to breathe again.

Rest assured that our Breathing Integrity 

Committee, of which I am Chair,

will leave no stone unturned to see

to it that each breath is legitimate.

Any breath that is in doubt will be

thoroughly investigated, and, if

warranted, nullified.

And needless to say,

we are putting the lid on

absentee and mail-in

breathing . . .