Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Prose Poem: A Plastic Bag Diet Will Save the World!

 



We all have to make life choices from time to time.

I made one a while ago that I must share with you.

After hearing about all the plastic bags

being found in the stomachs of whales

and camels and cows,

I went on a plastic bag diet.

They are best eaten raw, sprinkled with

 sea salt.

Make sure you get a variety of plastic

bags -- from the grocery, drug store, and dollar

store.

The different kinds of polyethylene they use

on the bags gives them a distinctive

taste and texture.

Don't be tempted to cheat by sneaking

in a few paper bags! They're full of corn

syrup.

And stay away from bubble wrap --

it'll make you flatulent.

Nowadays I snag my breakfast

from a trash can while out

walking in the park.

I meet friends for lunch downtown to

enjoy a plastic bag smoothie.

I usually skip dinner,

although sometimes I'll munch

on a quart-size baggie while watching 

the boob tube.

Why am I sharing this with you?

Because I believe we can end

world hunger, here and now,

if we all work together to provide

enough plastic bags for everyone.

So won't you please bring all yours

 to our Plastic Bags to

End Hunger Initiative

at the White House Rose Garden

this Easter Sunday?

Donations are tax deductible. 

Koszonom!




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