The scooter lay there. Abandoned.
Sadness welled up in me like bad clams.
I couldn't go on, but returned home.
Opening my vault, I took out a wheelbarrow
filled with money.
Then I wheeled it down to the abandoned scooter.
I announced in a loud voice that whoever
could tell me about the child who rode that scooter
could have my wheelbarrow of money.
A few people stopped to stare at me.
But otherwise they scurried about their loathsome
business like cockchafers on a banana peel.
I called 911 to report the scooter as evidence of
a terrible crime.
"Ah, some kid just left it there" said the 911 voice.
He sounded weary and jaded. "Call when you find a body."
I turned back to the sinister scooter --
only to find it was gone!
Someone had taken it while I was calling.
And they had snitched a wad of bills
off the top of my wheelbarrow, too.
So I went home and cleaned the kitchen floor.
Waxed it down with Turtle Wax.
When you have a big heart like mine
you have to make things shiny.
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