George and Abe sell mattresses/upon this holiday/Auto loans are offered/in their patriotic way/Americans are shopping/to show they won't forget/great presidents by going/so darn deeply into debt!
No place there is like home sweet home/for terrorists to grimly roam/born and bred in USA/they lust to kill us every day/they carry guns and don't wear mask/and shoot you if you dare to ask/just why they hate their own country/to them it's all conspiracy.
I'm the Dali Lama, though I do not like to boast/That other guy I leave alone; he's just a whipping post/I was chosen as a child by monastery staff/but when I learned what it entailed/I sat right back and laughed/Who needs that kind of pressure or the expectations great/People either love you or, if Chinese, really hate/I abdicated quickly and became a dharma bum/I never have regretted living my life so humdrum.
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