So I was walking along the alley
when a scraggly bare bush spoke to me.
It said: "Take off your hat, mug."
"You're on holy ground."
I gaped a moment, then said:
"Are you talking to me?"
"Yeah" said the bush,
"There ain't no one else here, chump."
Whether it could talk or not,
this bush was rude.
I decided to ignore it
and continued down the alley.
"Hey wait!' it called after me,
"Dontcha wanna know my secret?"
"Tell it to the dumpster" I replied airily,
before turning the corner.
Now the alley became just a path
paved with clinkers. There were
a few scrawny trees. Piles of junk.
And a glowing red pool that was singing.
The lyrics went something like this:
"Come along to my shore,
where my face you'll adore."
I threw a clinker into the pool,
which turned into a handsome older woman.
Dressed for the opera, with a diamond tiara.
"You have released me from a curse
placed on me by Abe no Seimei"
she said to me.
"What is your wish?"
"A ham and cheese on rye"
I replied without thinking.
"Who the heck is Abe no Seimei?"
I asked.
"Donald Trump in a former life"
she replied, slowly melting away
into a blue mist.
I threw the sandwich away.
Uneaten.
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