Today's Timericks. The World Is Likely Sicker Than It Has Been in 100 Years (WSJ)

 

The world is likely sicker than it's ever been before/I myself feel seedy with a microbe tug-of-war/Shots and pills don't cut it; I will take some castor oil/then take a dose of Epsom salts while under Tesla coil.

How to Prepare for Student-Loan Payments Restarting.  (WSJ)

My student debt has been deferred forever, so it seems/And so I use my income for to follow modest dreams/But if the moneygrubbers now start to have their way/and demand of me my pound of flesh to grimly pay/I'll hie me to the circus and become a tragic clown/and they can whistle for their dough while I fall on the ground!

Too Risky to Wed in Your 20s? Not if You Avoid Cohabiting First.  (WSJ)

Marriage takes a lot of guts in this here cockeyed time/Some think it is silly while others call it crime/Children are expensive to conceive and nurture well/You can't afford to have 'em if you ain't a drug cartel/And sex is only tempting when you're young and full of heat/After you grow older all you do is soak your feet!

Excessive Bell-Ringing By Priest Takes Its Toll On Italian Community.  (Forbes)

A church rang its bell day and night/giving townspeople a fright/The priest on the cord/was simply quite bored/and not by design impolite.