Wednesday, February 16, 2022

Narrative Poem: Christmas tidings.

 


"I dreamed you had a beard last night"

I told my wife recently.

"What nonsense" she replied,

while crocheting rubber bands into

a bath mat.

That's what I love about her;

she is handy to have around

and doesn't let flattery turn her head.

"I'm going out for a walk" I said.

"Be back before Christmas" she told me.

"Okie-dokie, smokey." I blew her a kiss

as I went out the door.

They were having a run on the fog bank;

so I stood around to watch that for a while.

Luckily, I don't keep any funds in the cloud.

Then I went into the park to look for old men.

Older than me.

To watch them wander around looking for 

a bench that didn't have a puddle in the 

middle of it.

You might think such a thing sad,

but the old men are refreshed with

such a legitimate beef --

one they can tell their kids

and send crotchety emails to

City Hall about.

There was a pine tree

giving me the fish eye,

so I moved along to 

the crowbar factory --

where I have a friend 

in the curling department.

But he wasn't in.

So I bought a dozen crowbars

as Christmas presents

and lugged them back home.

Where my wife was turning

thumbtacks into brads

for when we repair the 

belvedere.

Didn't I tell you;

she's the complete package?


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