Europe was colder than the Arctic this week

It got so cold in Venice that the gondolas all fused

Into a massive iceberg that left tourists quite bemused.

In Paris icicles did grow upon the Eiffel Tower;

Parisiens put on ice skates during afternoon rush hour.

And snow was falling thick and fast in places like Madrid;

Flamenco dancers killed themselves when into walls they slid!

Meanwhile in the Arctic it was balmy as could be;

The polar bears used sunscreen as if way down in Capri.

This topsy turvy weather comes when polar vortex walls

Tumble like at Jericho, producing lusty squalls

That swoop down upon Europe, giving residents chilblains,

And trace post modern doodles with rime frost on window panes.

So next time you’re in Europe, just forget sunglasses, chum,

And bring a fleecy blanket to keep warm your frozen bum.