Anne Kadet's Search for Meaning

Anne Kadet, of the Wall Street Journal

By all accounts Anne Kadet was a precocious child. At the age of eight months she said her first word. It was not "mama" or "dada" or even "goo goo." It was "why?" The answer did not come to her until she reached her true spiritual climacteric. 

As a teenager she backpacked her way through the wilds of Manhattan, asking perfect strangers on the subway or at Katz's Deli "why?"  Most of them either shrugged their shoulders silently or mumbled "I dunno, kid; ask somebody at the New York Post." 

So she did. The receptionist at the Post took just enough time to stop buffing his nails, look her over with barely concealed contempt, and reply curtly "We only answer 'what' questions here -- you'll have to go to the New York Times with your 'why' question."  

Anne quailed in terror. Civilians who ventured through the portals of the Gray Lady were never heard from again. But so great was her determination to find out 'why' that she decided on the stratagem of becoming an accredited journalist who would then worm her way into the New York Times, where she would corner an Editor to ask them her burning question.

It took many long years of hard work and study before the suspicious sentinel at the elegant front door of the Times building reluctantly let her in after she defiantly flashed her credentials at him. (She also showed him her Press Pass . . . )

Once inside she made a bee line for the nearest Editor, clearly identified by his beatific smile and saffron robe, sitting under a Bo tree. 

"Namaste" she whispered to him respectfully, her hands cupped before her face in a traditional namaskar. "Tell me, oh sage of the newsroom, WHY?"

"My child" he kindly replied, "when you find out how, you will then know why." 

Banging her forehead on the floor three times, Ms. Kadet retreated from the Editor, who had begun to levitate prior to achieving Nibbana, and quickly found an empty cubicle where she could begin meditating on this wonderful revelation. 

She is still there today, only venturing out for an occasional cup of yak butter tea and a Dharmic plate of braised tofu. And when pilgrims arrive at her cubicle to ask the age old question of 'why?' she joyfully gives them the ultimate answer:

"Why not?"

(Editor's note: Ms. Kadet's doppelganger, who has no enlightenment whatsoever, is currently employed by the Wall Street Journal.)

*******************************