Jonathan Cheng, of the Wall Street Journal, Hunts the Origin of Poutine

Jonathen Chang, of the Wall Street Journal

A graduate in History from Princeton University, Canadian Jonathan Cheng takes antiquity seriously. With his broad archival perspective, he makes the perfect reporter for the Wall Street Journal, where he has earned the Ludwig von Drake Award for Pensive Reporting five years in a row.

Because of his Canadian heritage, Mr. Cheng has taken upon himself the challenge of chronicling the history of Poutine -- that calorie-crammed, starch-infested, gravy-swaddled ethnic dish that not only is served at most major hockey arenas but actually tastes like most major hockey arenas. 

Mr. Cheng became enamored of the subject as a child, when he would follow the wandering cabanes a patates from town to town, fascinated by their deep rich smell and the traditional cry of the driver: "Excelsior!"   His parents, horrified that he would grow up with Poutine as an idee fixe, becoming an itinerant Poutine Bum, forbade him to ever sample the stuff. Naturally, as a rebellious adolescent, he did partake of the forbidden fruit, so to speak, and now has Poutine flown in from CanLan Ice Sports Arena in Toronto to his office in Seoul once a week. 

His research so far has revealed that the origin of Poutine probably occured in 1955 near the town of Drummondville in the Centre-du-Quebec region. Mr. Cheng was instrumental in having the Canadian Intellectual Property Office put up a brass plaque stating this discovery on a telephone pole outside of the major Canada Post store in town.

But Mr. Cheng's celebrated Poutine research has not been all skittles and beer. There are dark forces at work, wishing to discredit his discoveries. The neighboring towns of Warwick and Princeville are determined that the accolades of Canada and the entire world should be theirs for inventing Poutine -- and they have launched a smear campaign against Mr. Cheng, manufacturing canards and fake news to the effect that Mr. Cheng prefers Tater Tots over Poutine, and regularly pours ketchup over his Poutine, eschewing the brown gravy. This recently led to a lynch mob from the Canadian Embassy in Seoul converging on Mr. Cheng's office, wild-eyed and reeking of Molson, ready to string the intrepid reporter up. Luckily it was Mr. Cheng's day off and he was holed up at the Hello Kitty Cafe safe from the howling mob.

Mr. Cheng is also engaged in reenacting the Battle of Guju using miniature models carved from horse chestnuts. These are on display at the Tate Gallery in London. 

Mr. Cheng replied to his new profile by email, thus:

Um, thank you! This is...wonderful!

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