Elizabeth Dwoskin and the Elusive Algorithm

Elizabeth Dwoskin, of the Washington Post

A graduate of the Colombia Graduate School of Journalism, Ms. Dwoskin went to work for the Washington Post several years ago specifically to hunt down the elusive Algorithm. 

Up until she began her determined quest, the fabled Algorithm was merely an urban legend, a bogeyman to scare children away from their smartphones. But now, thanks to her remorseless research, we know that the Algorithm is out there -- and plotting against us.

Ms. Dwoskin has tracked down the facts needed to convict the cagey Algorithm of several crimes against humanity. Such as its role in the rising tide of robocalls that inundate our cell phones to such an extent that -- excuse me, my phone is ringing: Yes, hello? What? Send ten thousand dollars by Western Union or I'll go to jail? Is this a real person? Thought so. Dammit.

Now, where was I?  Oh yes. Crimes against humanity, such as pushing so much fake news on social media that it makes Trump look like Honest Abe. And unleashing Twitter bots to inflate the number of followers on certain flim flam accounts into the hundreds of thousands. Yo mama, Katy Perry. 

Thanks to Ms. Dwoskin, it looks like the Algorithm's days are numbered. Soon as it can be tracked down and brought to justice at the Hague (assuming it doesn't seek asylum at the Embassy of Ecuador) the world will undoubtedly breathe a collective sigh of relief. And Ms. Dwoskin will add a Nobel Peace Price to her already substantial collection of awards, citations, and rainbow scrunchies. 

When Ms. Dwoskin is not saving the world from algorithms and AI, she likes to whittle cream cheese into chess pieces, and mend broken Tinker Toy sets for orphans in Lincoln, Nebraska. 

She likes to bring homemade Norwegian krumkake into the newsroom every Tuesday and Thursday to share with her colleagues. 

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