Today's timericks.

 

Bubble, bubble; toil and trouble/stocks on Wall Street seem to double/like a glass of boba tea/filled with balls of rich bounty/How much longer can it last/until it bursts with mighty blast?/All I know for sure, my friend/I always jump in at tail end . . . 

Teaching kids at home is fun/Education as homespun/Parents teach all that they know/It's a job that's made of snow/Then the child, when grown at last/becomes a true iconoclast/Online courses can be added/It's a way to make time padded. 

A grizzled curmudgeon is what I may be/but my heart is open to romantic spree/I'd spend all my money on some great affair/and wind up a pauper who plays solitaire/On second thought, ladies, this Valentine's Day/I'll give myself choc'late, and solvent still stay . . . 

Prose Poem: Mr. Peabody.

 

"Show Mr. Peabody into the library, please."

That's what the lady said to me.

That's exactly what she said.

A complete stranger.

Never saw her before in my life.

Then she walked away.

At first I was able to put it

out of my mind.

A random remark from

a random stranger.

Not worth a second thought.

But then, about a week later,

I began wondering --

who is Mr. Peabody?

Could be a coded message

meant to warn me,

or threaten me.

Or throw me off the trail.

But I've never been involved in

any kind of spy business

or criminal activity.

I work in lawn care.

"Don't let it get to you, kid"

I told myself.

I thought about telling somebody

about all this -- 

but couldn't think of anyone

who would take an interest in

this odd, admittedly trivial, incident. 

And that thought --

that nobody in the whole

wide world took much 

interest in me --

depressed me badly.

So I went down to the 

Animal Shelter

and got me a dog.

A real mutt he is.

Ugly as sin.

But very affectionate

and intelligent.

I told him all about the strange

lady and what she said to me.

He listened attentively;

he seemed very interested

in the whole affair.

The dog and I worked out a theory:

It was a case of simple 

mistaken identity.

Like in a movie.

I owe that dog a lot.

And that's why I named him

Mr. Peabody.

Today's timericks.

 

I intend on aging well/looking for a magic spell/to give me both health and vigor/I take vitamins with rigor/Saw palmetto is the thing/With ginseng I'll take a fling/If these potions don't succeed/I'll check in to Walter Reed.

Let's take up a collection/for starving CEO's/so they will have some carfare/and a decent set of clothes/Their salaries declining/in this pandemic year/instead of champagne cocktails/they'll settle for a beer/If you should see one begging/with a cardboard sign/be tactful and don't tease them/about their small gold mine.

No catalog will suit me/because I'm roly-poly/my waistline is tremendous/my shoe size is unholy/From catalogues I'll order/only in the event/that they have outdoor trappings/so I can buy a tent.

Today's timericks.

 

Tainted software is endemic/not a problem academic/We are being squeezed like fruit/so that hackers get their loot/Since they float around like fog/we'd better switch to analog.

Household spending takes a dive/as pandemics still do thrive/Uncle Sam will send more checks/hoping spending muscles flex/But I gotta tell ya, Sammy/I ain't going to Miami/Any checks you send to me/go in the bank, that's Q.E.D.!

Marjorie Greene from Georgia still claims/voting conspiracies are playing games/with the election; that Biden's a cheat/Her brain cells apparently are Cream of Wheat/Why voters put her in Congress remains/something to puzzle the smartest of brains.

But with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee

 

Rude men and their justice raw

have no place in God's own law.

His justice mixed with mercy mild

all mankind has reconciled.

Everlasting kindness he

 shows to all eventually.

Prose Poem: A few years ago, New Yorker Jen McKenzie stood in line for two hours to eat at Emmy Squared, a Detroit-style pizza place (from the WSJ)

 

Standing in line is where it's at.

I mean, once I lock my knees

and stare straight ahead,

eyes unfocused, 

the world becomes Zen.

I become Zen.

My breathing encompasses

eternity.

And the long wait is 

a sacrament.

I first discovered all this while

waiting in line for a Detroit-style

pizza.

At first I was distressed

at the long line,

but then I thought to myself:

"There are no problems,

there is only the Line."

Detachment followed immediately.

The Line and I became one,

and time disappeared 

into a warm fuzzy blanket.

And when I got my order

I gave it to a homeless person.

I was no longer in need

of physical sustenance.

Now I seek out lines to stand in to wait.

For vaccines.

For toilet paper.

For artisan bread.

For polo mallets.

For Godot.

And sometimes I stand in line

all by myself

on my patio --

And sometimes I stand 

on street corners

with a sign reading:

"The Line Starts Here."

And people get it.

They really get it.

They line up behind me

for hours and days.

Sometimes weeks.

When the world is ready

I shall start the never-ending 

Line,

which has no stop

in either time or space.

And Detroit-style pizza

shall descend on us all

from the heavens

without money and without

cost.

Selah.

Sing praise to the name of the Lord.

 

Sing to the Lord in most glorious praise;

each mortal voice in sweet melody raise!

Our King and our Savior; his enduring zeal

makes our salvation and comfort all real!

 

Photo Essay: New Postcards to the President.

 

Today's timericks

 

My fridge is full of leftovers/I don't know what to do/Some are green and some are red/and some are sickly blue/I forget to label them/or scribble on a date/and I'm afraid if I partake/I'll meet an awful fate/I wish I had a pig or goat/to feed these odd and ends/but since I don't I'll give 'em to/my many hungry friends.

The evil that men do lives on/unless a Don Quixote/is put into position/and can lawmaker's proud vote sway/Here's hoping Biden finds a way/to undo Trump's misconduct/without a Congress bent awry/that only wants to obstruct. 

Known as robotic process automation, or bots, the software is typically designed to handle a range of routine office tasks, such as processing payroll data or expense reports, and fielding call-center queries. More advanced bots can review more complex paperwork, including legal documents and contracts.  (WSJ)

When I go to a big box store/there ain't no people anymore/It's automated and there's lots/of things that they are calling 'bots'/to take my order, answer questions/and ignore my fine suggestions/Algorithms have succeeded/in making me feel so unneeded.  

The work of vastation across our fair nation/continues amain, so I see/In Frisco the school board acts just like a fool board/and uses their judgement beastly/We might as well number all statues, schools, lumber/and anything else with a name/so Dame Controversy will show us some mercy/so we can be dumb and carefree.

Keep your iPhone from your pacemaker/the medicoes all say/otherwise you'll get a shock/that takes your breath away/Those crazy wavelengths clashing/as you take a call or two/will make your implant stutter/and your face turn brightly blue/You seniors with heart problems/there no need to flip your lid/just throw away your iPhone/and go off the frickin' grid. 

And it shall come to pass in that day that the Lord shall give thee rest, from thy sorrow, and from thy fear . . .

 

Give me rest, O Lord -- the kind

that only thou canst loose or bind.

Not the luxury and ease

that worldly folk are wild to seize;

but the peace thy Gospel breeds

while doing good and kindly deeds.

Today's timericks.

 

In the small Dutch town of Urk/taking advantage of murk/rioters struck/and ran amok/defying both country and kirk. 

In Italy the leadership/lasts no longer than a thrip/Administrations come and go/quicker than a burlesque show/When in Rome lookout for clerks/going out like fireworks.

When shopping at a brick & mortar/I don't buy more than I orter/Cuz it's hard to lug around/Hernias come pound for pound/But when online I do shop/I do not know how to stop/Now I have a gunny sack/filled with bottles of arak!

My winter furbelow

 

The thickening Minnesota snow

felt like icing on white cakes

when I lay down as a child in it.

Now that I've supposedly matured

I still find myself quite lured

to make angels in the flakes

for a winter furbelow.

We rejoice in Christ

 

When we have a healthy view,

it's happiness we will pursue.

Make, therefore, a conscious choice

that in the Christ you will rejoice.

Only he has love and weight

enough to promise our glad fate.

Today's timericks.

 

How many strains of Covid are there/that's what I wanna know/Seems we need a new vaccine/now each month in a row/There's one in London, Cape Town too/Perhaps the next's from Kalamazoo/Moscow, Beijing -- musical chairs!/It catches us all unawares. 

No Budweiser this Super Bowl?/When they've played a splendid role/in America's big day/keeping sobriety at bay?/You might as well play baseball, kid/without the players chewing quid.

Melting faster than predicted/ice sheets may have us evicted/from our seaside frolics soon/Surf is up in Saskatoon!/Walruses get awful gawky/when they surface near Milwaukee/Say goodbye to trailer park/and build yourself a Noah's Ark!

Thy ways are just.

 

I'm through with second guessing

the intentions of the Lord.

My notions of his dealings

are the rattling of a gourd.

God's providence may not be clear,

so I must learn to trust

in his loving kindness

and to say "Thy ways are just!"

Today's timericks.

 

A hard boiled egg first thing each day/is joy to slob or prim gourmet/It's versatile and goes down well/with caviar or muscatel/That is why I do feel undone/Since I never learned to peel one!

The stock market does upward glide/like a roller coaster ride/Breaking records, minting gold/for a few who bought and sold/Today the bull may wear a crown/but what goes up must sure come down . . . 

Racist far-right movements/momentum now achieve/as their online poison/they do gladly weave/With heads and hearts so hollow/that they will fill with trash/some follow these deceivers/and like to hear stuff crash/So ignorance and hatred/the spotlight have embraced/Their goal has never varied/They want to lay things waste.

And his word shall hiss forth from generation to generation

 

The word of the Lord is abundant;

a sissing insistent and sweet.

Our job is to sow it

so nations will know it;

dumbfounding the proud and elite.

It's cogent and never redundant. 

Sandals in the Snow.

 

I'm wearing sandals in the snow;

me, an elderly patriarch.

If my old mother saw me now

there's no doubt she'd drop a scow.

Her grown up son, out on a lark!

With frozen toes and giddy brow.

The day of miracles has not ceased.

 

God of wonder, God of might,

lead us from this faithless night!

Let thy miracles be known

and to one and all be shown.

Help us each to testify

that thy marvels are nearby!

And he will plead your cause

 

Our advocate is Jesus Christ;

the Father hears his plea.

He knows each one of us

and asks the Father for mercy.

No other intercession 

is effective at the Throne;

his love for us is infinite,

his power stands alone.

Photo Essay: New Postcards Mailed to President Joe Biden this Week.

 

Today's timericks.

 

Joe Biden begins oversight/by scribbling with all his might/His pen will not tire/it catches on fire/He spills ink just like a playwright.

The market for housing is tight/Pulling up stakes in the night/no longer appeals/to folks with ideals/They stay put like some old stylite. 

Statistics say lifespans are less/Financially, we are a mess/We're so polarized/we seem mesmerized/We sure need a quick convalesce! 

The work of the Lord is steadily moving forward.

 

Nothing stops the work of God.

It rolls forth 'neath the nose of busy fools.

But those who seek for it will find

that there is joy that's unconfined

in humbly working as his tools

though sometimes weak and often flawed.

The Next Stop for Departing Public Officials? Hollywood (WSJ)

 

As political officials transition into and out of power in Washington and across the country this week, Hollywood talent agencies are on the hunt for new business. For the agencies, political clients are proving to be lucrative as demand for original content spikes, streaming platforms proliferate and movie-star salaries drop.  (WSJ)

The smart Tinsel Town promoter

looks for unemployed politicians

to sell cornflakes, win a Tony --

since they've moved lots of baloney

and are racked with large ambitions,

which were flattened by the voter.

Today's timericks.

 

What makes gluten-free so right?/And white bread such a crime?/Why must all the scones I eat/be filled with sprouts and grime?/Let me have some Wonder Bread/and leave me be, you prudes/who want to ruin my innards with/your rules about my foods!

Janet Yellen wants to spend/us to prosperity/She says growing deficits/are now the only key/I say "Let 'er rip, Ms. Jane!"/and take us for a jaunt/that either makes us rich and fat/or leaves us rather gaunt.

The Democrats want cleaner air/trees that flourish/crowds that care/What they'll get/I'm much afeard/is the same old greed that's geared/to Big Oil and other slobs/who whisper/"We will lose some jobs"/Thus the Blue Wave beats on shores/that care only for s'mores.

For the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord

 

The knowledge of the Lord

is ours by right and long decree.

All the earth shall once again

know God's validity.

Fight against it, if you will,

ye faithless and remote --

but don't forget that David

huge Goliath truly smote!

Walking Away Alone

 

When you walk away alone,

the pageantry behind,

opportunities ignored --

feeling lost without your horde;

suddenly too nonaligned --

you must reap what you have sown.

Today's timericks.

 

My life is full of leftovers/from banquets and snafus/I've eaten so much crow that I/with pin feathers do ooze/And if I had it all again/to do I think I'd hire/John Cheever to write all it down/as a grand satire.

Jane Yellen ain't afraid of debt/She'll run up such a tab/to keep this country going/it would force a sphinx to gab/Deficits are nothing new/for those who hold the reins/Let's hope they'll be less deficit/of courage and of brains!

Hail to chicken sandwich meals/Hamburgers take to their heels/Fast food joints have now embraced/chicken patties, fingers, paste/No use this trend to be bucking/Soon we all will start in clucking.

And be set up as a free people

 

Freedom has no truck with creed

and the hatred it can breed.

Honest faith in God prepared

liberty to be declared

to this people in the past --

will we repent to make it last?

What if they'd finished the tower?

 

What if they'd finished the tower?

What if God didn't say "Boo?"

Then all the rabble in that spot in Babel

could rise to the deep cobalt blue.

The heavens would be a way station,

as mankind ascended amain;

we'd pinwheel past Saturn in such a grand pattern

the angels would turn quite profane!

Today's timericks.

 

I'm drinking soda water

like I have never done.

The calories nonexistent 

make belching lots of fun.

I serve it solamente

to all my kin and guests;

it makes them very sober

and keeps away the pests.

A hundred pardons in a day

looks to be Trump's going away

bonus to posterity

to laud his own vulgarity.

I dilly and I dally 

when I'm working off-site, since

it takes a lot of effort 

to create a decent blintz.

It's not that I don't love my job

or hate my Mactintosh,

but since the kitchen is nearby

I like a little nosh.

 

My health may be indiff'rent

and my fortune's on the wane.

The rainy day has come at last

and sometimes there is pain.

Visitors are few and far between --

but what care I?

My sense of humor is intact --

I still can throw a pie!

Social-Media Algorithms Rule How We See the World. Good Luck Trying to Stop Them. (WSJ)

 

The sea gulls shriek at 

the waves working

to move the shore.

They still laugh 

when it finally shifts.

And so do we.

The God of the Jews and the Gentiles.

 

The God of the Jews and the Gentiles

is one and the same deity.

He loves and he cares for his children,

no matter what faith they may be.

Agnostic or firm non-believer,

his kindness and mercy extend

to ev'ryone here on his foot stool --

on him alone we can depend!

Photo Essay: New Postcards Mailed to President Elect Joe Biden.

 

Two Haiku.

 

In the winter

can the song remain

after the bird has flown?

This winter wind

brings no comfort --

like the handshake

of a dead friend.

Sustaining the law of the land

 

Sustaining the law of the land

is what we are called on to do;

as citizens and as a flock,

we honor, obey, and eschew

all mobs and the bunk they embrace

if we are to see our God's face.

Two Haiku.

 

A bad blow

makes the nail

bow its head

In the food desert

a child sees a cabbage --

what is it? she wonders,

biting her nails. 

Today's timericks.

 

Joe Biden, like old Honest Abe/wants his country bad to save/More partisan than dogs and cats/is he the one to heal our spats?/Right now the bigger question looms/Will Trump vacate the White House rooms?

Banks will lend a helping hand/when you borrow fifty grand/They will keep it quick and fun/All they want's your first born son/Your friendly banker likes to loan/so he can squeeze blood from a stone/Luckily my credit score/keeps all bankers from my door.

When I fill my car with gas/I'm offered pheasant under glass/fresh ground coffee and baguette/imported cheese, let's not forget/My local station is inclined/to serve me maple bacon rind/This gourmet splendor is a treat/too bad they ran all out of Heet.